That’s devastating when a child has to live through so much pain and neglect and survive in a world that’s mostly hostile.. I’m reading that you have a good and stable relationship with your husband.. that’s when healing happen I guess! Thanks for sharing.. began to live in boarding schools when I was 9 and Nuns were able to live their passive aggressiveness while punishing kids, plus my second caregiver being Bipolar things were fun as well..was very high-maintenance as I entered adulthood. My mother stopped parenting when I was about 10 and kicked me out at 12. Between that and a whole lot of other trauma, I was not ready to adult, and I very insecure, clingy, needy, extremely anxious, paranoid, etc.
You mentioned stubbornness, and that’s something which I do admire when people sit down despite feeling unwell and learn , learn because they have a goal, a vision or whatever. From what you’ve written so far you seem to have that willingness.. can you send me a portion of that? I belong to those who whine around and waiting to be encouraged.to that if only because I don't recognize myself as being particularly bright, and so when other people don't get near to my standards but appear proud of their work, I think they are being arrogant and lazy.
Sometimes you might need temporary respite, people might not always value noble characteristics? Due to my insecurities I tend to expect others to be thankful if I help them. If they don’t I become a bit aggressive, (Like a child..). Have to constantly reflect, keep that inner dialog.. if I’m honest I dislike most humans (Only my husband and mom) Id like to hide and only be with robots, technology and booksdo have a lot of empathy for people and what they go through. It feels very much like I should have shut down
Urghhh not sure about that.. I’m lazy today. You did them anyway.. woooh :-) thats toughnessAre you going to do any lunges, then?
Really hate going to work, when I’m there it’s doable, and somehow I get through, back at home I distract myself and suffer now and then, Do yoga and a little meditation.. the only thing which keeps me sane is my physicality and my health.How is work going, btw? I know you were struggling quite a lot about a month ago. It
That requires brightness, skill and tenacity.. I know you know that, I just felt like pointing out again.On the other hand, if you give me a student or someone with an intellectual disability to work with, I do great.
There are a lot attempts to homogenize people’s experiences, those who have gone through trauma have disorders and are labeled as pathological, rather than making the efforts to see the whole picture, individuals are asked (Asked by whom? .. one could argue) to do their best to heal and function despite toxic environments (Ofcourse no one lives in Disneyland and that’s not how the world works, we can’t expect conditions to be always good) But I think I won’t get into that.. so much misunderstandings when people feel their individual pursuit to do better is being less valued.. I think it’s hard for me to explain.. you can ignore this because it won’t make much sense..Mental illness? Appear mentally healthy -- that's how you maintain employment. It is not quite right.
Remember you mentioned radical acceptance from her as well..Wanting to heal attachment and connection issues and apparently this is a practice that helps means I am doing this one. Meditation: Calling on Loving Presence (18:18 min) - Tara Brach
Hi @Changing4Best glad to hear your doing well with your job. Congrats!
OH ME TOO!I wish I had time for such things, but I am so seriously behind in my housework that it's pathetic.
That's great! Better than me! I don't have a job at the moment!I'm doing well with my job though, so all is not lost.