Everyone is different. It's great that you are able to go to a job -- a job I cannot imagine having, of course, in large part because I am too emotional. I wish I could shut mine off, but no off button exists that I can tell. So, I have to have a buffer around me at all times which severely limits what I can do in a day.I don’t Do the emotionality well.. if people want to talk about their feelings.. yes I can get involved.. but I have this tendency to be too rational.. ( Protective mode, or whatever)
Absolutely hate the word vulnerability.. what’s that? Urghhh
We could also say you have a good amount of emotional integrity, the hyper awareness of the other and me is definitely not easy to tackle with.. getting sucked into other people’s vibrancy! Maybe I have an idealized version of inner quality when people are more in touch with how they and the other feels.. but this all very indistinct.. because we all have our history.. yes!in large part because I am too emotional.
Oh, I hope you didn't think I did. I only have one real-life friend and my husband.I don’t have friends!
Oh then I misinterpreted.. must’ve read you with my biased filter on. It’s never easy to evaluate people (Whatever that means) but you Do come across as someone who is more accessible— That doesn’t mean one has close friends..(Defining closeness, how well we relate to the other, and they to us.. and so on)Oh, I hope you didn't think I did.
Can relate to this.. have been running around with protective skin and it’s hard for me to let anyone in.. the impacts connections make are hard for me to digest, or I might feel I need the energy saved up for other things.don't let myself around people long enough to connect, anymore
Thats painful, I’m sorry you experienced that. Without being intrusive, why do you think people dropped out? If you can describe?lost every one of them when I became an adult and had an obvious anxiety problem. That was devastating.
Yes, maybe it belongs to this attachment style of being dismissive/avoident. In many ways, preferring to keep my holy space, finding it hard to share personal stories/feelings.. it takes a very very long time until I do so. I’m having this inner rebellion to never ever ever wanting to take up a certain mindset just so that I can belong to a group. I’ve left group therapies, and I also had conflicts with colleagues because they had this opinion about how things should be, and that ended nasty as well.. nasty for me because I got fired. Not a fan of groups and teamwork also because I don’t talk a lot and I don’t do smalltalk and smiling well.. that’s a problem too. People like to share, talk and the easy-to-Get-along-thing. If I don’t want to pretend I won’t.. that’s not always smart.Something in your story says you need to be self-reliant and never vulnerable -- those are good traits. The world has not, unfortunately,
Have to smile reading this..self-praise, self-this, self-that, just trying to be ready when the time comes that another person shows up in my space.
Thank you. I was very high-maintenance as I entered adulthood. My mother stopped parenting when I was about 10 and kicked me out at 12. Between that and a whole lot of other trauma, I was not ready to adult, and I very insecure, clingy, needy, extremely anxious, paranoid, etc. My friends also went off to college but I wasn't able to go yet.Thats painful, I’m sorry you experienced that. Without being intrusive, why do you think people dropped out? If you can describe?
I'm not good in groups, either. And I relate to the smiling and smalltalk thing -- I have no idea what to say to people and I refuse to discuss hair, eyelashes, weather --anything obvious that would a great smalltalk subject.I don’t talk a lot and I don’t do smalltalk and smiling well
Oh dear. I don't think I have. I better get on it quick-like. Thank you! You have helped my hike again.Are you drinking enough later for the Hike?
I do attract those people, yes. Lots of them.Also interested in knowing what kind of a dynamic happens when people enter your spheres. Are we also talking about energy thieves? They suck.. they literally do
Haha! Thank you. I was going to accuse you of calling me a slut, but I won't now.Just to make it clear, meaning in a positive/healthy way..