Checking in on a past therapist - Angry at not recognizing abuse

[katz]

I know that this sounds odd, but I have been thinking lately about contacting the T that I saw when I was very young. I know that he is still practicing, since I looked him up. I asked myself "why" I would want to do this - I decided that I want to tell him how angry I am for him not recognizing this while I saw him. I was with him a full 8 years. He would talk to me first, then both my parents. I want to tell him that he was talking directly to my … "attacker" all that time and did nothing for me or even noticed that it was happening while I was seeing him.

 

[Muttly]

I am sorry he didn't help you. I know how damaging that can be. If you contact him, will you be expecting a response? What happens if you don't get the response you want? I think it could be a really healing thing to do, depending on your expectations.

 

[EveHarrington]

It’s not so easy to put it together and come to the conclusion that a child is being abused, at least in the absence of physical proof or the child making statements about being harmed.

Yes, maybe this therapist did fail you. I don’t know for sure.

If you do contact him, the most likely response is silence.

 

[grit]

I am sorry you had this experience. It almost sounds honestly the therapeutic experience was re-traumatizing and re-enforcing for you. As the others say, it is possible, the therapist truly did not know exactly what was happening. It is possible your attacker was that clever and put wool on everybody's eyes including the other parent. So you may not get satisfying answer or any answer at all from the old therapist. I wonder though why now?What trigger this search on him to see if he is still practicing? Maybe there is nugget for healing and using this energy to find a better therapist.

 

[hithere]

I would like to know if you do do this. The person who was you-that young person- has some desires and needs about being protected-about being "seen" It could be helpful but with the knowledge that it may lead to some pain. I've learned that "pain" response can be healing if you allow it. Like being retraumatised but now with the help of this persepctive. Confronting those who failed you: I get it! To the traumatised "you" I say you deserve to be heard loud and clear and two middle fingers to this past therapist if he is an a-hole to you. !
Edit: on further thought, too. It can be very healing. This T might have a soft spot in your heart-if so, you might to "finally" be able to say what you were so afraid to say for 8 years. I had a t as an adult and I was too afraid to tell him about the trauma. I was with him two years. When I finally was ready to deal with it, I wanted him only him to tell him "what happened" what I couldn't tell him before. ... So this might be a need to finally tell what the "rules" would not allow, and now your "rules" have changed.

 

[susannahsays]

I empathize. I have thought about sending an angry letter to the psychiatrist I saw as a child. I think I would have already if I knew her name. I don't want to ask the parents for it.

 

[Cypress]

I had wanted to do this for years. My biggest fear was that even though he saw me for 5 years - what if he didn't remember me?

When I finally looked him up a few months ago I found out he died relatively young at age 52.

I say go for it if you know your T is still practicing.

 

[Mach123]

Yes I've been through this I actually self diagnosed finally. I was really mad I tried to "tell." As soon as anyone said "that's normal or kids experiment," I was done and silenced again.