While I can understand your curiosity on some level. I would caution you to walk a delicate line because asking specifically for rape victims to discussion lubrication and feelings towards oral sex is not the most appropriate thing to do.
I think the important thing to remember you've been married for years and this happened before you were together. Any impact it has had on your relationship would have occurred before your relationship started. And it really doesn't do you or anyone else any good to compare your wife to your past lovers or to other rapr victims. Everyone has different experiences that effect them. As well as different personalities. The only person who can tell you how things changed for her is her. Maybe she always liked Lube. Maybe she never liked oral. Maybe her libido is the same as its alwayd been. Maybe some things effected her but she recovered. Maybe she's self conscious about her Vagina. We wouldn't be able to tell you that. Ask her. And ultimately knowing won't change anything. Accept her for her and move forward.
Don't say things like your ex married a rock star and they wouldn't settle for a sub par sex life. Or compare your frequency between various relatiinships. This perpetrates the idea of women as objects of sexual pleasure. Just because someone is a rock star doesn't mean they have a high libido. And saying that men who don't like blowjobs are unicorns is horrible. Its discouraging for men. If you want to have an open discussion about sex than don't make generalised sexist statements. Everyone has their own preferences.
I think the important thing to remember you've been married for years and this happened before you were together. Any impact it has had on your relationship would have occurred before your relationship started. And it really doesn't do you or anyone else any good to compare your wife to your past lovers or to other rapr victims. Everyone has different experiences that effect them. As well as different personalities. The only person who can tell you how things changed for her is her. Maybe she always liked Lube. Maybe she never liked oral. Maybe her libido is the same as its alwayd been. Maybe some things effected her but she recovered. Maybe she's self conscious about her Vagina. We wouldn't be able to tell you that. Ask her. And ultimately knowing won't change anything. Accept her for her and move forward.
Don't say things like your ex married a rock star and they wouldn't settle for a sub par sex life. Or compare your frequency between various relatiinships. This perpetrates the idea of women as objects of sexual pleasure. Just because someone is a rock star doesn't mean they have a high libido. And saying that men who don't like blowjobs are unicorns is horrible. Its discouraging for men. If you want to have an open discussion about sex than don't make generalised sexist statements. Everyone has their own preferences.
