I tend to think in different styles in different moods/states. This is a source of great confusion for those who know me well. Somedays I can be a good sport for a philosophical discussion, the next I honest to god dont understand what is being said, even though its not more difficult or anything. Sometimes I am the best person to ask for relationship advice, the next I am gonna make you cry because I cant hide how little I understand that stuff. The silly names come from me loving video roleplaying games. :roflmao:
Sometimes I think directionel, kinetic basically. It is like thinking in directions, lines and how they overlap. For example, my partner comes and complains, and I can nearly litereally see how the issues he talks moves through his day, and intersection where decisions can be made. If writing a story, its best to think aboug logistics and plot. My spelling is worst. I think of it as a sharpshooter.
Sometimes emotionally or emphathic which is harder to describe. Solving a logical problem, in which I am bad in this state, is more like feeling the answer, the flow. When writing, it is immensly easy now to feel the characters and what a reader would percieve. This is my favorite way of being. In this mode I can have empathy with a wall or a concept. I am good with kids and animals in this mode, but adults percieve me as abit aloof. I call it the shaman. This is the state of laughing and crying.
I can become stonecold logically, mathematical basically. For some reason I like this the least. I dont think I need to explain much. It is my best way of thinking for spelling, fact checking and all that stuff. This always feels for me that I am starting to get overwhelmed, anxious and retreat. I guess that is why I like it least. Math becomes second nature. I am rarely happy and logically thinking at the same time. This mode cuts all the unnecessary words from my writing. The bastard.
Then there is the visual thinker. Suddenly I am not a total disaster at descibing scenery. It is very good for writing fast paced scenes, but generelly its an all rounder. It makes reading by far the most enjoyable. It is also very nice for brainstorming ideas. I can most easily socialize like this and I feel I become much more relatable. I wonder if this is the normal mode for most. I definately feel and appear most normal like this, and considering the generell focus on visuell stuff in our culture, I think its a good guess.
When I feel very, very calm and at peace and danger or stress is far away I feel like all these come together in what I like to think of as the "whole me." They often bleed into one another and I am not good anymore in telling them apart. Only when they change I feel it happening. Was much better at telling it apart once, but I dont really care anymore. I feel always just normal. It made me feel a bit too selfconcious to focus much on it. With a bit of calm and time and concentration I can sometimes influence, but mostly its circumstances.
I discovered this years ago, when I noticed how differently I can react to what I read. This post has been brought to you by my logical side.
This sounds all totally bonkers, but its the truth. I suspect it might have something to do with the many dissociative symptoms I am struggling with, as it can be triggered and influenced and brings with it changes in memory and personality.
