Poll Do You Find It Difficult To Talk About How You Feel?

[Rosedragon]

I answered with Yes, because I'm afraid of how others might respond.

But my answer would actually be that and Yes, because I find it hard to put my feelings into words.

Both answers are interconnected. I find it hard to put my feelings into words, because I don't know how much I should say, because I'm afraid how others might respond.

<Edited for font style and putting into correct sentences, not poetry style.>

 

[PTSD sufferer]

I am afraid of repercussions for expressing how I feel...
or it will only make my own life worse and accomplish nothing...
not being used to it without repercussions...

Agree with you JB on these three points, so I picked 'other' reason.

 

[Anna]

Trust mainly. I am paranoid and do not trust anyone. I am scared if I ever open up to anyone they will twist it and use it against me. Also how they will respond, which is why I picked number 2. I am scared of how they will react, what they will say etc... Fear, anxiety and paranoia.

The way they could react is terrible. I want to fit in and be seen as being "normal". Also some of the things I have done and seen are just too horrible to put into words. Something that "normal" people could not or would not possibly ever be able to understand. How I feel, I could not possibly ever put into words ever.

 

[Red Feather]

I don't really feel connected to my feelings. I am in denial.

 

[justhere]

I don't really talk about how I feel. I keep it to myself...people don't understand me. Furthermore, I don't trust anyone, but my husband and I still don't tell him anything until I'm really down. Alot of times I don't know why I feel the way I do. Im a great pretender around others though. I look great, but inside I'm an emotional wreck.

 

[712xx]

"If you can't say something nice [or positive], don't say anything at all."

That saying is so stuck in my head, it makes it hard to say the words describing my feelings, because they are mostly negative. I don't want to be a complainer/whiner. I feel as if I am spreading my negativity on to other people. It is a little safer here, but not always. Sometimes it can become a who is in more pain than who contest. Not usually on this site, but other places, and in group therapy sessions it can.

I have a hard time believing that talking about my experiences are going to help me or anyone else. I've done it a little, and I usually regret it later. At best, I've felt indifferent.

 

[Tinyflame]

I've had relief to see ('hear') things from another perspective.
Less fear than being alone in it (despite the shame, etc.)

 

[Anna]

May I also be so bold as to add. I don't talk about my feelings because most of the time due to my paranoia I feel noone gives a shit anyhow, so what is the point of talking talking talking anyhow?

 

[schnauzerbabies]

I agree yes on all of the above. It is really hard to put feelings you don't understand into words. Especially when you are trying to explain them to people who don't understand, and sometimes don't care to.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I can feel, but I have mostly shut down my feelings in order to function and do responsibilities. I have a hard time putting into words my feelings. I can say I feel happy or sad or depressed but the complex feelings are the really hard ones.

Maybe that will change when I do the EMDR. We will see.

 

[Bubba]

Feelings were reserved for people with legitimate feelings. My feelings? Completely irrelevent, inappropriate, inconvenient to others... don't you have some little neighbor friends you can go play with? Run along...

Oh yes - understand this well. I now have trouble expressing my feelings for all of the reasons in the poll. I'm afraid of how people will respond. I often don't know what my feelings are. And trying to put them into words is near impossible. So I just shut down if pressed and keep quiet and listen when not pressed. I'm a great listener - however I'm also a fixer. So sometimes I take on other people's feelings.

In fact - I've become so good at reading people when I walk in a room and I simply adjust who I am based on the atmosphere. The less conflict the better. I try to control everything to keep emotions down to a minimum.

 

[Bubba]

It's ironic that this topic has come up in group recently and I've been struggling with this on my own for months. I voted that I don't understand how I feel.

My first memory is the trauma, I was so scared, confused and in so much pain when I went home and I was dismissed, everything I tried to say was minimized. What I thought I was feeling ...I couldn't be feeling, what I thought was so bad couldn't have been bad because no one noticed. Refusing to go back to kindergarten was something to joke about. I couldn't be terrified about it because my parents laughed about it with their friends. How could I be so wrong?

Wow! This is exactly what I went thru at 7 when a boy attempted to rape me on the side of a house. I was completely dismissed. It's as if that trauma never happened. But it's still inside me at 41 and still wrecking havoc on my life.