Poll Do You Have a Critical Person Inside Your Head?

[Sandra]

I'm guilty of being very critical of myself and others.

 

[mamachick]

My sisters/family are very critical. My ex and children are not usually, although one daughter is very opinionated. I did not realize how bad it was being married (he was just very neglectful/avoidant/passive agressive, but a few days ago I was feeling really bad and he just said-smile -in a very rude demanding tone. I forgot that I had to smile around him even if I had a mouth full of sh!$. If I didnt, isolation to follow. From siblings to spouses.

Shell, I am so sorry that happened to you and you did not get the support and comfort that you needed from others.

 

[Meadowsweet]

I voted a 100% yes. But I have experienced psychological manipulation and bullying, and further criticism through ignorance and lack of understanding. So sometimes it feels like a whole crowd of people pushing me this way and that. The worse bit is that, although its my mind picking up all the hurtful things, I still hear the voices of real existing people saying the words.

 

[Anna]

Yes. I even speak out loud sometimes critizising myself.

 

[Sandra]

Interesting that most of the input replied yes.

 

[Lucille]

For a long time, my family tried to convince me that I was crazy about the trauma I was experiencing, that it wasn't really happening, that I was overreacting. Somewhere along the line, I started to believe them. Their replies were stuck in my head on repeat. I stopped talking about it and continued quietly suffering. :notworthy: Bring on the PTSD...

 

[olaja]

I spoke out loud to my inner judge. I told her the facts. "I was raped by all those boys. He attempted to kill me by strangulation. My parents did not believe me nor did they help me. No one helped me. You, Inner Judge, are going to stop ridiculing and shaming me." Writing these words reaffirms my position, and makes me feel safe.

My therapist tells me that you do not ask permission from your inner judge/critic. "Would you go away, please?" is not going to get rid of the voices. Took me a good long time to be able to stand up to the critic. (over 5 years of 2x weekly therapy) With more practice and self-awareness of how the critic manifests herself, I will get better at naming it when it happens, and putting it (the shame, criticism) in its place. Probably a life long effort....

Good thread.

 

[Sterre]

Yes, yes, yes!

My innercritic, I call it the "Nazi", is one of my biggest problems. I am working hard to silence the nazi down, and I feel like I am progressing with that a little bit.

I noticed that my inner critic is there as an avoidance mechanism, the function of my Nazi is to distract me from pain by causing acute distress and pain in another area.

When something triggers me, my nazi is there immediatly to jump into action and starting to distract me by name calling, shaming, blaming and everything this nazi can get a hold on to make me feel worse.
What happens then is that I cannot keep busy with whats been triggering me, because I have to defend myself with all my might, against my nazi.
So, I see my inner critic as some kind of gate-keeper, to keep me away from feeling the pain of the actual traumatic experience.

When I notice I am starting to have extreem negative thoughts about myself or others, it is a sign that I have been triggerd in an area that I have to look at instead of letting me get distracted by the nazi.

My inner critic is my disfunctional protector.
The level of disfunctionality is a good mirror of the disfunctional home I grew up in.

Acctually my inner critic isnt so bad, it just doesnt know a proper and healty way to protect me from pain.

I want to try not to fight my innner critic anymore by dismissing it, but by understanding its disfunctional ways.

 

[windwoman]

Yes, yes, yes! I call her "the chairman of the board". My son's will often tell me that my "inner bitch" is showing. The difference being, the COB uses really big words, along with the foul ones. She is driven, accepts no excuses, and can prove beyond a shadow of a doubt how all the traumas were my fault. She is not a nice person and can slash and maim with her tongue.

I was a Drug and Alcohol Counselor in Prison once upon a time (in what feels like a galaxy far, far away). I taught CSC (cognitive self change) for years. So when the COB gets going I send in the CSC Counselor and she confronts the COB and brings balance back to my busy little brain. I know, it sounds like I have DID but I haven't been diagnosed (yet, anyway). But when the self-talk turns into a full fledged debate - you just have to give them both a name!

 

[Sterre]

....and can prove beyond a shadow of a doubt how all the traumas were my fault...

You nailed it there windwoman!:tup:

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Yes, I have a critical part.... (In the IFST way, not the DID way)

 

[Zef]

No name for mine, it feels like just me. Besides the general negative crap, it also reminds me of all my worst failures, no matter how long ago or how unrelated to whatever is happening now. The voice has calmed down quite a bit with therapy, so apparently it can be made to shut up.

You, Inner Judge, are going to stop ridiculing and shaming me.

Olaja,
Thank you for this. I will try to remember to say it directly to the inner critic next time he reasrs his ugly head.