Driving People Away - Too Needy

[Mary4]

I think people have a hard time with mental illness and understanding the fact that a person...

Well said, its tough for everyone to cope with . People who care want the best for you and share the frustration that at the moment things are not ok. The challenge is to love and accept each other just as we are.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Maybe an adult colouring book to keep your mind busy could help?

YES!! I have 8 of them. Yep, 8. One is like 3 inches thick and is a spiral notebook thing. It's a lovely relaxer for sure!

 

[Fenris Lyulf]

I am driving myself, and probably everyone around me, mad by being so needy all the time lately. I j...

I know exactly what you mean because I do the same thing. It's hard to be alone with depression and anxiety, which is one of the reasons I joined this site. People who don't have a mental illness or PTSD simply cannot understand what we go through every day, and I think people have also become less caring in today's world.

 

[Silver.]

Neediness comes when our needs aren't being met. But we cannot rely on other people to make us happy, that alone lies within ourselves.
When people don't feel the sense that they are getting as much as they are given, it makes it feel like the relationship (be it romantical, family or friendship) is not two sided.
We all want to be heard, we all want our needs to be met, but there has to be a happy balance of give and take.
(no one wants to be around someone who always demands the center of attention and pouts when they don't get it eh?)
I love the idea of finding things to do to keep you occupied, to distract your mind and lets you take time to focus on just you (and in the meantime, elevates your personal happiness) like arting

 

[Enaila]

Have you started your list and online shopping you were talking about doing or is this not an option anymore? I remember you thinking about doing it.

 

[aut555]

It's funny, when you are really down and out then you find out who your friends really are. Do you think your husband is just frustrated at this point and saying things that are hurtful? Maybe it's time for some small hobby such as coloring , maybe do drawing lessons if coloring doesn't appeal. Think about something that makes you passionate now that you can do, because people seem to be letting you down right now. Also by doing things, you will be observed as less needy to those around you and more vibrant. @Blackjack just wishing the best for you now. Stay postive, don't let people bother you.

 

[I_will_recover]

it's possible that they are uncomfortable with their own neediness and are projecting that onto you as judgement.

Yep and for some folks it hard and uncomfortable to see someone they care about in so much pain so they bail. Sometimes without realizing the why.

Come on in and talk about it and chat. It helps. It really does.

True, truer, truest. I've posted before that this site has literally save my life on more than one occasion. And my suicidal ideation is diagnosed as severe.

People who don't have a mental illness or PTSD simply cannot understand what we go through every day

This. As true as the day is long.

 

[Mim28]

:hug:We are here for you.

 

[EmmaOwl]

I hope this makes sense.

Makes perfect sense. Sounds like me. When I need people most, I'm best at driving them away.

 

[I_will_recover]

When I need people most, I'm best at driving them away.

It's your illness not you personally that drives people away. I've done it on several occasions without being conscious that I'm doing it.

 

[Blackjack]

Well, I seem to be really screwing things up with everybody right now. Everyone is loosing patience with me and getting fed up with me being miserable and depressed. I am in such a mess, I don't know what to do. I rely on my friends here so much but cannot keep annoying people like this. :cry:

 

[Ironlady]

Well, I seem to be really screwing things up with everybody right now. Everyone is loosing patience...

Hugs hon. Not everyone feels that way about you. Catastrophic thinking here. I know you feel awful but girl you have been through absolute hell.. you are working hard to heal, to feel better and sometimes that just means breathing and getting through the day. Some people may distance just because that's what we all do from time to time. Just know you are cared about.