Dual Existence?

[macbeth]

I feel like I live in two different realities, one on the inside and one on the out. My inside reality is the result of triggers, traumas and emotions etc. that says everything is dangerous but my conscience mind (outside reality ) is saying the opposite. Example; I walked down the street last week and I heard a car horn. For me it is a major trigger. My inside told me to run and hide but my outside (the real and current existence) was trying to tell me everything was ok.
I feel torn. How do I reconciled my feelings and reality?

 

[CryojenX]

I wish I could say I knew. I can't authoritatively speak for everybody here, but I have a hunch it's probably a very common state of being for people with PTSD. Just my two cents.

 

[Tanishq]

I don't think you have two different realities. To me it looks you are trying to deal with outer world with your own inner world. Going by inside out approach. IMO this is very wise of you to do this.

Hearing everything was ok, sounds like you are listening to your own gut instincts. I hope this helps you.

 

[illusionist]

With time and practice you will not be torn...you will go from trying to tell yourself to actually telling yourself the reality. I still go into a blind panic internally for a second or two, then reality of the situation now automatically kicks in, on most things.

 

[Go Hungry]

This is a very good thing, to be able to discern the real world from the internal dialogue full of worries and troubles. Enjoy it. :)

 

[PTSDbegone]

This sounds very familiar to how I often am. I always feel like I am wearing a mask. Nobody sees who I truly am because I don't allow how I am feeling inside to reflect how I act, and look on the outside. I often feel like 2 different people. I think with loads of professional help, and work the 2 can eventually become integrated. That is my opinion anyway, and what I have been told by others. So far I haven't started the work as I just recently started seeing a new therapist, and we are still working on safety issues.

Sorry this hasn't been very helpful.

 

[ghotiff]

always feel like I am wearing a mask. Nobody sees who I truly am because I don't allow how I am feeling inside to reflect how I act, and look on the outside.

This so aptly describes me also.

 

[PTSDbegone]

See we are all in this together. I'm so glad I found a place where there are others who understand.