Relationship Echoes Of Conversations

[shadesofgreen]

I am trying my best to move on. I am having a bad day. I had to call my therapist because I had a breakdown and just lost my ish.

The manic government posts continue with my PTSD ex. He spent all day on FB having a discussion with himself. It's scary, and I've been informed that nothing can be done until he poses an "imminent threat" to himself.

He is flaunting this new relationship, opening insinuating their super sex life (blech).

I have not heard from him since I called him out on not being honest with me. It's been 11 days since he sent me anything; it's been 10 since I did. I am not checking his FB, but my best friend confirms that he's still in manic like mode.

Our last real conversation haunts me because he was talking about how he had attempted suicide. He'd had his stomach pumped. He had cried that he "didn't care" and "couldn't feel" (which is ironic because he certainly blew the roof off on FB with her this week. I realize that he's been a total ass, but I hope he realizes that regardless of what he's done to "us," I would be there for him if he got to that level of darkness. I wanted badly to send him a declarative statement that said that via email, but I don't think it's wise. He's so happy with her and he starts work next week; I don't want him to think I'm clinging to hope.

Thank you for letting me vent and be nuts. I am taking care of myself.

 

[Sweetpea76]

(((Hugs))) Vent away.

 

[technigirl]

I'm sorry that you're going through this. It sounds to me like he may need more professional help with the PTSD than he's getting, and perhaps has other issues too (depression etc). My ex-friend with PTSD used to say the same things "I don't care about anyone but myself", and "I can't feel anything", but he was completely untreated. With the new girl, my guess is that it's easier for your ex to be with her because they are not as close as you two are, and he can just have "fun" with her, and it's less stressful because of the lack of real intimacy. That certainly doesn't excuse the behavior though, especially just moving on with her and ignoring you like nothing ever happened. That isn't PTSD, that's just being a jerk. I've noticed, though, that many PTSD sufferers tend to push away the people closest to them. They sometimes struggle with trust and freak out when someone gets too close.

I wouldn't send the email if I were you, because you don't owe him anything, as he is now your ex. If anything happens to him, or he does something to himself, it's not on you. You've done your best, you cared for him, and he chose to leave and move on in a very a**hole-ish way. If anything, you might pity him because it sounds like he may not be capable of having a successful, happy relationship with anyone.

Lots of hugs to you!

 

[Peach]

So sorry. I can't imagine how hard this has been for you to watch unfold.:(