Express "Whatever" And "All" It Is That Has You Swamped On Any Given Day

[map9]

Thanks bec!

I too did a search after I left the forum and found some really interesting articles. I agree, it's disassociation for sure. Another symptom I didn't mention because I was ashamed of it, was like I was vibrating. It's like shaking but at a much higher frequency. Basically this all harkens back to suppression, having to continue on regardless of trauma and appear as if all is well. If I knew when it was going to come on I would sit down. Sometimes I don't realize I'm doing it though. Only my daughter or my mother (God rest her soul) recognized when I was drifting away or was just "not there" as my daughter would say. In an article I read it was like a coping mechanism gone wrong. Many thanks for your tips bec I appreciate it. Love, map9

 

[Monarch]

Ok well today and yesterday was nuts, we are all sick in the house except the husband, My son has strep throat, I have it and so does my 2 year old daughter. So we are all sick which means, no work, no school, no daycare. It also means that I don't have the energy to clean or cook, leaving that up to my husband so the house is dirty and we are starving (ok that was a little sarcastic) but true. Damn, it is hard to believe that my life is working and trying to fix problem's all day, I mean a huge part of my work as a project manager is problem solving, which is hilarious considering I have been running away from my personal problems for years!

 

[Jet]

I also vibrate. Until now I have never come across anyone else who does it also. It drives me nuts.

 

[map9]

You and me both

Dear Jet, The only way I can liken it to anything anybody can understand is like if you have ever heard of a sound coming from a high voltage wire or sound equipment for a band. I'm trying to find an analogy here that would fit. But, regardless, it's a definite vibrating. I don't have it all the time (or I really would go :crazy-eye bonkers) mainly it's just when I'm trying to cope in highly stressful situations or the days afterward. It's weird, I know. Aggravating too. Love, map9

 

[map9]

Observing instead of reacting

This might be difficult the first few times when in a situation where our bodies are vibrating and letting us know all too well that all is not well. Say to yourself this information below. Pausing for moment to let it seep into our mind. Because we have been traumatized we have ways of dealing with stress that may not always be good for us. The way explained below is gentle and helps the person suffering at that moment to see they have the power to change a situation.

As noted in my other posts I'm still dealing with with complex PTSD. Being aware of it helps us overcome it. Lots of patience for ourselves and allowing ourselves the mercy we deserve leads to eradicating the hold of being a victim has on us, that is replaced with wisdom of compassion and patience for not only ourselves but others.

You can change the words to fit your issues, say for instance you were in a car wreck and being in high speed traffic might bring on this vibrating feeling, replace the words of abandonment, separation and betrayal with injury, pain and loss. Whatever may work for you. Many kind regards to you in your wellness journey. Love, map9




"My issues are clear to me. I have issues of trust, abandonment, separation, betrayal, and power and control. When I find myself in these situations, I immediately stop, step back, and observe what I am subconsciously creating. I then no longer feel like a victim. I realize I am a creator with many choices about how I will energetically react to each situation I create.

In most cases my choice is not to give energy to the situations created by my issues. I witness them instead and watch to see what will unfold. I find it is easier to understand my situation where I can be a witness and observer. I can observe my life objectively and see more clearly overall."

 

[Rob T.]

My face hurts,
My back and neck hurt,
My nose has been disfigured,
Nerve damage to my face,
This are all permanent things..
and there's not a darn thing I can do about any of this.

oh Gosh. I feel messed up about other things that happened in the news today. It may be innappropriate for me to say this, but I'm so sorry to hear that this happened, YoungAndAngy. Really I am.

Good Day, Rob

 

[Rob T.]

What I mean is, I'm sorry that this happened to you, Really I feel sorry about that.

Have a Good Day,

Rob

 

[Rob T.]

****Triggers****


To begin with, I probably have to dump my latest therapist, this therapist just doesn't seem to connect with me. Changing Therapists always makes me feel down.
This post probably won't make much sense. I saw a news item that left me wide eyed and stunned today. Oh jeez.
I was probably slow to get this news bulletin. c'est la vie.
Recently, a U.S. college student stood by a crowded sports stadium. he had a bomb- which exploded and killed him. I'm really at a loss of how to work out that news. Sort of makes you want to just drop your car keys on the ground- and just stand there and stare at them for the next five days.

What happenedwith him? Didnt he get the news I got as a kid? playing with a small caliber bullet can blow 3 of my fingers off. wasn't he ever told don't play with bullets, or gunpowder or other exposives? His reasons for having a bomb or having near a large building are gone, so his motives are also a mystery.

Was he unhappy? was he trying to hurt himself or someone else? I once saw an airshow on tv. one of the acts was about 4 military helicopters dropping firework-like bombs that made explosions about 4 feet high. It was one of the most scary things I've ever seen. Was he trying to hurt a crowd? Was he after fame or wanted to beat up a lot of people? Please everyone, find non-violent and non-destructive ways of dealing with: anger, sadness or other types of unhappiness. That's probably jerky of me to say I know. I just dont know what else to say. I really don't know. How did that situation go wrong? how did he get the weapon? why didn't he get the message that civilians are never to go near bombs or bomb parts? Why do I feel that there had to be a way to get to him to help him before things went wrong for him? Man. I don't know. I really don't know.

Please hug a friend or someone you love guys,

Have a Good Day, Hugs from me,

Rob

 

[piglet]

Continuing with the changing therapists theme.

Last week, I turned up for my appointment, expecting some feedback after having finally gone through the diagnostic CAPS thing I have avoided for so long. I got the feedback - I am in the better end of the "severe" section, so hooray for me....

Anyway, we chatted about that, and my feelings about it - something along the lines of "holy f###, what sort of state was I in when I first started therapy?! I feel I have come a long way since then, yet I am still classified as "severe". ???

Then came the shocker. My therapist is pregnant. Her contract is up for renewal and she and the practice have decided not to renew. My therapist wanted to schedule an "ending" session for the next week, as her contract only lasts another 10 days, but we could not find a time that worked for the both of us. She was very apologetic and I felt that she was genuinely upset and concerned for how I would deal with the news.

It did upset me, as I had finally been feeling confident enough with her to start dealing with some shitty stuff. It took me a year to get to that point. Now I have to start over with a new therapist.

I had my first session with the new therapist yesterday. Bloody hell! I think she and Anthony would get on really well, as she is a no shit, grab the bull by the horns therapist. At the same time, she was still careful not to push too hard - just hard enough to get things moving. I felt exhausted after the session and I've been feeling sick and panicky and completely swamped at times today. However, I think that is a good sign.

At the end of it, while it sucks to change therapists, I think this may be a positive for me. I guess I am lucky.

 

[kers]

Not very much notice on the therapist change, Piglet, and that stinks. But I think you're right, maybe this will be positive--the time and effort you have invested should make it easier to get to the real meat of it with your new therapist.

Still, I can't imagine how wrenching it is to have to switch.

 

[pandora]

i agree, switching is very hard. i had to do it last year when my first therapist (the one I finally opened up to went on maternity) I t was heartwrenching, but I did survive and the new one has helped me out in numerous ways. Take a little bit from both of them, I guess.It has helped me but was still very difficult.

 

[goingonhope]

Not really a gripe or a complaint, I just can't believe how much work in life there is and all that must get done.

I'm proud of myself today, I did so much necessary hardwork and labor, that I'm just thrilled, but I've got to give up and retire for this evening, though I don't want to and would just as soon accomplish more. I love hard physical work, it's how I relax !
(lol) :rofl: ..:rofl: ..:rofl:

My kids are out of school soon for the summer. Very little time left with much to do.

And, I do need someone's and/or people's sincerest prayers, if only for my two beautiful children, that I'll be able to slow down and relax and enjoy the summer with them, they're looking forward to seeing me more and doing so much.

Slowing down, Pacing, responding to the unexpected and constant high energy and noise levels and having to make many, many transitions throughout any given day, is not always my strong suit. Taking good, good care of myself, so that I can take good, good care of my children, is not always easy. So, I truly need many prayers. But, I have done extremely well, rising to the occassion before, and can only hope this summer I'll do likewise.

Hope