Undiagnosed Family has gaslighted me into insanity

J

James G

I've been thinking about that a lot actually lately. I grew up in a very religious cult environment so its very possible they have connections. I have seen various people from my church that I don't exactly know well all of a sudden just show up to where I which waa really suspicious. That has never happened before until I caused a shitstorm in my family last year. They keep tabs on me like a f*cking coyote chasing a deer. Its beyond insane. Every sentence that ever came out of there mouth was to milk me for information about where I'm going or what I'm going to be doing at all hours of the day. I'm getting off track here, but as far as connections I know my mother is a director at Kindercare. I don't know much else. She has full control of everyone financially (which is beyond scary) My parents both tried getting Power of Attourney over me and then tried to get it financially, but ultimately failed. They're and have literally tried to turn me into their puppet, its truly terrifying when you're currently living an actual horror movie and the worst part is everyone just labels you as "mentally ill". Anyway back to the topic at hand my dad used to
Bro...I your just feeling lost, alone, unappreciated, afraid, beat down, ruined forever..all negative thoughts cascading and filling your mind to the point of making you dizzy. I don't think you know where to start and may have these paranoid thoughts as a way of escape or distraction from your more pressing issues that need attention now. Your clearly articulate and educated. You've got value already. I had a friend who locked himself in his home for several months rather than deal with his family issues. I went by to check on him and found him going thru old mail, tax returns, grocery receipts and phone bills...he was so convinced that someone was plotting against him and that he had evidence. He showed me a sku from a 5lb bag of potatoes, an old phone bill and his driver's license that all had the same numbers... numbers that were his old address. I told him that they were the same numbers but what did it mean, who was coming for him and how would they attack him by using his old address in the random items I mentioned. He couldn't tell me and continued to insist it was a plot and they were coming for him. He wasn't dealing with his family issues. He didn't know where to start and so his subconscious set him off on a wild goose chase. You don't want to go there. You know your immediate problem. Forget the blame placing for now. Help yourself. Stand up for yourself. Not against someone who's wronged you. Stand up despite the ones who have wronged you FOR YOURSELF. I know it's tough out here. I'm off and on homeless. I'm hungry all the time. I've been shunned by my family too. They are hurting themselves. It's always the strongest one who is scapegoated. Everyone in this forum will tell you it's true. THAT MEANS YOUR THE STRONG ONE. STOP CARING ABOUT THEM AND CARE ABOUT YOU AND THINGS WILL CHANGE. It's the only way they will. I'm in California and a long way from Illinois. But i offer my compassion from afar and I wish you would stop whining and get busy...?jk. I wish you the best. But it does boil down to stop whining and start making your way down your road. Pick a metaphorical road that the haters in your life are not on. You'll make friend's along the way. Remember to smile, enjoy the moments and have fun.
 

Brandon

New Here
Hello, how is everyone doing? Just thought I would give another update on what has been happening, since its been a while. I believe things are getting better so far. I just took a drug test for a good job and I'm now waiting for the results. I should pass it though, as I haven't taken amything that would otherwise prevent me from passing, but I still have things I need to get in order before I can finally move on and get a place E.G. birth certifcate, title of car, insurance, ect. I believe that my psycho mom has finally calmed down a bit and is backing off, but we shall see.
 

TruthSeeker

MyPTSD Pro
Brandon, homie look for other explanations.

You got enough problems than add a conspiracy to them.

Besides, better equipped to sort stuff once stable. Not when u fretting about what them other niggas do.

So, if you leave a crazy narcissistic/psychopathic family system, it is not beyond the realm of possibility that people can check up on you. I left, and they made sure I knew people were hanging around my new place... or following me -really obviously. It can happen but when there is no reason, or motivation to do so, that stuff usually subsides at some point.....but your brain has been in "terror/fear mode" and you will be on high alert with your brain chemistry for a while....jumpy, nervous, and likely feeling suspicious. If they are no physical threat to you, then fight the urge to jump to conclusions. If your family is dangerous.....your brain will stay on alert until you feel safe and it can trust the situation.

If you go no contact with the family, that can be one response-them checking up and I think there is also a part of us that hopes they care enough to.....that goes back to belonging.....everyone needs to belong....it's in our make-up as human beings. Also, if you go no contact, and I mean call no one, block all the crazies on your phone and email, .....when they are bored, they might be inclined to check up on you for gossip purposes....or narcissistic kicks. The very worst time in my life was leaving my entire family system.....I missed the dysfunctional belonging-it was all I had known.....and I missed my grandson.....at first. I had no belonging.....but it didn't take long for me to realize that without the dysfunctional ones in my life, making me feel like shit, my life was at first, so much quieter. I remember one day, coming home, and I realized there was no noise in my new place. No complaining as I walked through the door from a long day at work, no yelling, no blaming, no attention seeking and no criticism. There was no negativity in this new home, except what I allowed in. It was quiet....I do not recall hearing real quiet before. While quiet was initially lonely, it grew on me. As I sent my brain more positive messages, and the longer I've been away and stayed away from the negative family shit, and the less I'm triggered by them, the healthier I become and the more adamant I am about not looking back.....not reopening those doors.....I was the scapegoat but I'm not now....because I won't play that "role" for them. You don't have to be their scapegoat, but if you go back, that's the role they will have you play, because it meets their needs..........it is an awful place to be in and feel family betrayal and loss of belonging, but over time....you have time to evaluate how you want to live your life, what family should look like to you, what a career looks like, and what you want out of life.

Your description of yourself sounds positive. Start by being good to yourself. I'm proof that you can leave, and once you are away from it all, all the weirdass dysfunction, it doesn't take that long to start seeing that things are different when you aren't all caught up in it and have to play the scapegoat roll. Good luck, there.
 

Friday

Moderator
I've been getting weird calls telling me prescriptions are ready for me under an unknown name. And then I went to the store the othee day tk get some work done under my computer when they finished they called me and told me it was under a different name. The exact name from the call I got the other day telling me I had a prescription. I have been hearing people reference songs when talking to me that I had just listened to a day ago. I was driving today and somone came behind me while driving and set off their car alarm.

@TruthSeeker ... did you read the list of things happening? ^^^ Because

....but your brain has been in "terror/fear mode" and you will be on high alert with your brain chemistry for a while....jumpy, nervous, and likely feeling suspicious. If they are no physical threat to you, then fight the urge to jump to conclusions
This is exactly what Ronin, ChrisDuck, Sideways, & I were saying. None of us were saying that being stalked is outside the realm of possibility. The opposite. When it’s a very real possibility, it becomes very important to reality check life-stuff v stalking-stuff. Rather than quoting everyone, I’ll just quote myself :
I was on the receiving end of my ex husband & his friends (The TeenyTinyWeinerSquad ) for several years. In 2 years alone my house was broken into hundreds of times (2-3 times a week x 52 x 2)... but there wasn’t a single area of my life that went un-f*cked-with..
It made it incredibly vital that I did NOT assign all the random problems of life to their influence. Because random shit happens. Coincidence happens. Clerical errors happen. They f*cked with my life MORE than enough, I didn’t need to be assigning them super-powers, in addition to what they were actually doing.
Normal people may be able to be all WOW the interconnectedness of blah blah blah, or spin off on a conspiracy theory to two, just to keep life interesting. (IE making connections that aren’t really there, for entertainment purposes). If you’re actually being stalked? You can’t do that. You HAVE to draw a hard line between the annoyed (irritated what’s really happening) and the paranoid (afraid of what isnt). Or you will go batshit crazy. Because not everything is connected. But fear can make it seem like everything is connected.
 

TruthSeeker

MyPTSD Pro
It's the only way they will. I'm in California and a long way from Illinois. But i offer my compassion from afar and I wish you would stop whining and get busy...?jk. I wish you the best. But it does boil down to stop whining and start making your way down your road. Pick a metaphorical road that the haters in your life are not on. You'll make friend's along the way. Remember to smile, enjoy the moments and have fun.

@TruthSeeker ... did you read the list of things happening? ^^^ Because


This is exactly what Ronin, ChrisDuck, Sideways, & I were saying. None of us were saying that being stalked is outside the realm of possibility. The opposite. When it’s a very real possibility, it becomes very important to reality check life-stuff v stalking-stuff. Rather than quoting everyone, I’ll just quote myself :
I didn't discount anything you or Ronin said. I thought I contributed my opinion, supported what you said, and provided a supportive post, based on my experience. I'm not sure why you felt the need to bold your point. I don't think I was off point. It's late...or really early. I should get to bed. Nite.
 
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