Relationship Fear of crowds - a questiong

[Never_falter2]

So we went there, together with two other Vets. Everything was fine, everybody happy. Kids hat lots of fun. There was something that made me very happy. I told you that there was an Islamist terror attack last year and that there was a discussion about security but there was also a discussion in the press that we needed to go anyway to show islamists wearer not afraid.
There were lots of Muslim families this time and this is really unusual because it is a Christian event and there was a Christian charity selling Belgian wafers to raise money... and then there was long line of Muslim/Syrian looking people waiting to buy a wafer. I did not talk to them but I felt like they were there to show their support. Thank you!

My guy unfortunately did not feel so well because his PTSD made him tremble and he was mad at himself for trembling and continued to be mad at himself for the rest of the day, because he believed that everybody there saw it and now they know he has PTSD and think he is crazy.

 

[Ten eightys händy]

So we went there, together with two other Vets. Everything was fine, everybody happy. Kids hat lot...

Ok, so he had a Team with him he could trust (+!!!), but was afraid oft loosing face since he was the weak link in the chain.
Discussing exit plans nicht help, but if he was where I believe he was i think all the people from that country were possible threats to him all the time. In active duty i think he nicht habe "taken care oft them" pre-emptively. Here he "has" to sit there and actively wait for any sleeper to make the wrong move for the legal Notwehr-Paragraph to apply. So he is constantly 100% edgy feeling you all and he might be next. I do not see why he could not be shaking. he never mentally left the combat zone. His instincts classify oddity with opponent. And after insane fear for nothing he feels like that village idiot, the weakest part of the Team that gehts them all killed because oft stupidity later.

That contradictive logic part oft him earlier in was just his fears outracing his other fears and him paranoidly creating logic for himself to rationalize his answers and yours to his fears.

He needs a good therapist soon. If he has not, get PTBS Coach APP or PTSD Coach APP in bis phone as a Start. If you are in Berlin, the BW Hospital there has a list of therapists. There is also ptbs eisblume if you google for it, something like this board but some medical ppl in there. Hard to describe in english. I can ask some people if you want to for contacts to therapists. And thanks for supporting him and not running away.

Direct message if you need my contact infos.
Over n out for today.

 

[Never_falter2]

Thanks for your answer. Just to translate it a bit for our English speaking readers. BW means „Bundeswehr“ and that is the military and civilian armed forces in Germany, so I think we can translate it with „military and VA“ and the „BW Krankenhaus“ is like „VA hospital“. Can we translate it like this @teneighty? I am not sure about the English words.

Maybe I should have mentioned my vet did not serve in a fighting role. So I do not think he would have dealt with them in any way.

...and personally I am not even sure if he is a good fighter, because of the stupid things he did when he believed there was a burglar in the house such as trying to open the door latch with a stick he was carrying because he was afraid of the door... and that failed and he would have alarmed any invader and I was so afraid because if there was really a dangerous burglar in the house we all would be dead.

So I guess he did not think of any „stand your ground“ (Notwehr) paragraphs but of protecting us by fleeing with us.

If I was afraid that there was the possibility of a aggressive reaction from him when he is triggered I would have strongly advised him against attending any event that might trigger him... but I never saw an aggressive reaction from him ever.

It has been a while since I last time did a PTSD research in German. I did not find really much but it has been four years. I did not find any useful PTSD board... but I am very happy with this one. So no problem.

I also did not find any useful books on PTSD. If someone from Germany asks me for a good book I recommend English ones, but do you know a good German book on PTSD?

I wrote to „Rat vom Fachmann“ (VA advice about PTSD) four years ago. They mailed me a general information leaflet, which was very helpful. They also said that that both of us, my husband alone or me alone could receive counseling in Berlin, which is miles and miles away from where we live.
They seemed to be very friendly and eager to help.
Is it still like this? Any counseling they offer is only in Berlin?
(Anybody who has more specific questions about my experience with them please write a private message, because of anonymity)

 

[shatter eyes]

I am like that also with crowds.
I found that if i have a person that i can rely on helps.

We need to plan ahead and form exit strategies. Doctor taught me to have escape plan.

I change my mind alot because of the emotions and anxiety that come in waves.

Its really tough to be social and in crowds. Theres too much stimuli in crowds. People counting..monitoring..sounds.. movements... shuts brain down... OR go into angry evil mode..which makes me feel alive.

I prefer crows...not crowds

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I can go to a fair where there are crowds but it has to be during the day and I am long gone before it is going to get dark. At the time I leave so many new people rushing into the fair. I am relieved once I am sitting in the car driving on the way home.

I am not able to go to a public gathering anymore for a lot of reasons. I lost my partner of thirty six years who I depended upon to watch with me. We were both pretty much keeping to ourselves all of the time.

With all that has been going on with the Christmas attacks I would not be able to handle dealing with that on top of trying to have a good time. That is just the way I roll.