Fed Up With The Rollercoaster Of Emotion

[KP the nut]

T is not a happy safe place anymore, I dread going, it makes me cry, facing hidden fears. I'll say how I'm feeling and T will say, OK let's go with that. Aargh, I don't want to, I don't want to go. I don't like driving Hs car. 3 hours 20 minutes until I have to face it - urgh.

Maybe if I missed just this one :oops:. No, must do it. Why is my brain in conflict with itself. It feels like 2 people in there fighting for what is best and I don't know which to listen to :confused:.

 

[BloomInWinter]

I 'liked' that one because you are letting us see your hurting child and giving us a chance to comfort her.

You are most certainly not stupid...detail management is difficult for most adults, much less those dealing with all this other dreck on top.

Please speak kindly to yourself...it's so hard right now but you're still IN the game, ya know?

(((((Kath)))))

 

[BloomInWinter]

Tell your T. your struggle...time for the T. to re-establish safety before pushing, maybe?

*Linking Arms*

 

[Tosh]

(((KP))) I know what you mean about the two people in your head, it makes me indecisive sometimes. I just have to try and take the emotion out of the situation and look at the facts and what really is best. Just writing that makes me realize I should be doing that right now........

It's pretty amazing how responding to your post and trying to support you helps me work through my stuff.

 

[The Albatross]

I just got back from my T, I hope you did okay KP. I pegged my frustration meter (internally) but was able to put what I was feeling into words. Hope it comes out okay for you and you are able to have a good day.

 

[charliehotelwhiskey]

((((KP))))

When I was in therapy, there were times I told my doctor to stop and back off, on some touchy issues. She did and we discussed setting up safetys, before moving onward in baby steps. There were even a couple of sessions where we kept the discuss light reviewing coping skills, and safe things I could do to take care of myself. Like getting a massage, spending a weekend in a hotel, walks in the country, curling up with a favourite book. Also I took a couple of weeks off just to give myself a mental break.

Hoping you are doing better, KP

Take Care

CHW

 

[KP the nut]

(((Bloom, Deb, Reclusive, Albatross, Tosh, CHW and all)))

Thank you for sharing your strength and wisdom. I made it through. (OK sexist comment and apologies in advance - T was v astute, suprising for a man :roflmao:). He knew how I was after the last session and we spent time talking it through and everything he thinks I've achieved over the week. He was impressed with

1. Driving 65 miles
2. Going back to work
3. Driving Hs car
4. And is his opinion the toughest - not taking the easy way out of T, by saying I didn't have a car and facing another session.

We also discussed the affect my symptoms were having on H. T suggested a sesssion with him seeing me and H - don't know, I don't think so. T gave me a sheet of info for supporters, reading through the list it is me exactly. I will find time to discuss it with H. I know H doesn't understand the full picture. I could let him see this site but selfishly I wouldn't be comfortable, I put things here I wouldn't say out loud but writing them is OK. Does that make sense, I am putting ME first for once.

The session went well, no awful crying like last week:rolleyes:. I worked through a few things and felt CALM :tup:. We worked on my hypervigilance whilst driving. He made me think of sayings about being calm and being a good driver, then reinforced them with EMDR. As usual we did grounding techniques to finish.

Just as well I was calm when I left his office as the moron drivers were out. I stayed calm, I continued to breathe.

Thank you my friends
Linking arms
KP

 

[AngelaMarie]

KP,
Good Job!!!! Really good job!!! Keep on keepin on.:tup:
Linking Arms,
AngelaMarie

 

[Deleted member 6617]

So proud of you KP!

 

[Brontie]

Best wishes KP.

 

[Reclusive]

KP I'm so proud of you! OMG, look at how much you're accomplishing! Maybe if you get a chance, go back say... 5 pages and take a look at what you were writing then. And then give yourself a huge pat on the back and a giant hug from all of us. You're doing it, you're REALLY doing it!

 

[intothelight]

Kath,

Wow you are doing so well with getting out, driving, and working. Be proud of yourself, as you have worked really hard to get to this point.

(((hugs)))
Deb