Flashback problems - Problems eating

[Missesme]

So yesterday my mother came by after touching one of my biggest triggers. Even thiigh she washed her hands I am in a total flashback. I can't eat anymore. Everything feels dangerous and contaminated. I am horrified that my whole world could break at just a wrong move. I haven't really eaten for a few days and I know I have to but I can barely move.

Do you have any advice?

 

[Survivor3]

So yesterday my mother came by after touching one of my biggest triggers. Even thiigh she washed her hands I am in a total flashback. I can't eat anymore. Everything feels dangerous and contaminated. I am horrified that my whole world could break at just a wrong move. I haven't really eaten for a few days and I know I have to but I can barely move.

Do you have any advice?

What do you mean "touching one of your biggest triggers"? And "she washed her hands"? Can you explain?

 

[arfie]

i, too, am guessing at what was triggered in you. germaphobia?

but on a general gee, when somebody who habitually triggers me to psychosis, i start with considering the source and limiting their access to my proverbial buttons. yes, ma'am/sir. whatever you say, ma'am/sir.

 

[Freddyt]

It's a thing I learned early on. How much emotion is invested in a relationship determines it's value emotionally - good, bad, or otherwise.

It's like this: I have a great relationship with my mom. I can't spend much time with her now either. Good, bad, whatever, its stressful. My mom is the single most stressful person I could be around. Probably because of the ties to when I had Trauma 1.

First find the articles on the site - read stress cup. Than learn grounding and do it. Those two things will get you back to balanced most of the time.

Food and eating? It seems crazy but cook for yourself. Not just throw it in the microwave. Bacon eggs and toast? You give yourself time to switch from being overwhelmed with stress and realize you are hungry. Change your focus. I started with breakfast. It's before you let stress build up in the day, it's easy, and it starts you eating regularly.
At first, eggs and toast. 10 min. Added a hash brown patty and maybe a sausage. Or maybe pancakes, lots of butter and syrup. Now its easier even on bad days to go make breakfast and eat because whether it feels like it or not I am hungry.

 

[MnM]

For me, it is making it sacred again. Don't fight the bad guy... find inner peace first. Don't let mom (or trigger) show up - lock all the proverbial doors.

To do this, I:
- ritualize the shit out of every step
- only use The Best Bowl. The Best Pot. The Best Chopsticks. The Best Spoon. The Best Mug. The Best Tea. The Best Seat in the House. The Best Vista. The Best of literally everything.
- only use and buy the foods you love and want Right Now (yes, I made a list of "safe" foods in an excel sheet and when I'm lost, I open The List. Yes, I made an inventory of everything in my cupboards and taped the inventory to the inside of one cupboard. When I'm lost and overwhelmed or forget everything, I open That One Cupboard and pick Something that brings me half a smile. Or just feels like I might maybe enjoy it. I took a picture of The List so when I'm in the grocery store, if I hit a wall, I have my three (3) top Go To items and I get those. Then I leave. If I start making food and I get side swiped by a flashback or something, I stop everything and limit ingredients to three. A nice multi layer sandwich with soup turns into toast with egg and beans. A shepherds pie turns into potato wedges with all the spices.
- I put my phone down. Maybe music but not usually. No TV. No reading. Sacred. I make The Trigger sacred. If I make it safe, no one can touch it. If I have the flashback or am triggered anyway, I know I've made "the container" sacred or safe enough to Experience it Observe it without Getting Lost in It or Entering Suffering (all states I have named and can identify for myself).
- if I can't avoid Getting Lost in It or Entering Suffering, I activate my "Success Formula": sleep, rest, self-care (I have a written out list of options), running water, fresh air. This works Every Time. It Takes Time. But it also alleviates my panic around I Don't Have Time and Time Loss. So the net is a gain... now that I've figured out my damn formula.

 

[Friday]

I had a really loooooong reply saved in drafts (that then died there) that basically sums up to? Find work-arounds. Nutrition shakes. Soup cubes. Tinned food. Anything you can knock back, to feed your body, without f*cking your heart/mind

 

[Dynamic]

try a saltine or two. homemade veggie broth always gets me.

herbal tea has minute nutrients in it but better than nothing
add comforting herbs to a bath to try and ease you back down