Forgiveness Quote

[cat-lady]

Non-ptsd: When you forgive you set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner is you. (Lewis B. Smedes).
PTSD: When you forgive you discover that you are still in prison anyway. (my personal experience).

Anyone else have this experience with PTSD? I hear the first half in pop culture all the time. It feels like the "let them eat cake" of PTSD. It illustrates the lack of understanding. I find that I am still in a prison of symptoms whether or not I forgive.

I like this one better: "Pass it back or pass it on." I think it's a lot more realistic. If we have an issue isn't it better to deal with it rather than trying to stuff it down where it will eventually seep out and affect those who don't deserve it? I think so.

 

[RussH]

forgiveness and PTSD are two different animals. Forgiveness is spiritual if you will, where PTSD is physiological as well as mental. Forgiving someone is good for your heart, it can remove any bitterness or hatred, but it doesn't mean you will no longer have PTSD.

PTSD is a prison, but you can find a certain amount of freedom through counselling and therapy.

 

[joeylittle]

I don't really believe in forgiveness. I do believe in acceptance - which has nothing to do with 'being ok with'.

If I spend all day at work with someone who has the flu...and then I get the flu...I can't ignore the flu. I just have to accept that I have it. Acknowledge that I feel like crap, and that the person can't un-infect me - I have flu now.

There's no real reward in getting angry at them. It's been done. I could get frustrated, pissed even - but holding onto that response isn't going to take away the flu.

Eventually, those days of flu become part of my past. I might choose to speak with my colleague; or to put up a sign; or to wear a mask at work, to avoid future flus.

Kind of a simplistic example. Much harder to do when it's not the flu, but a beating, or a rape, or any other horror. But the acceptance mechanism is the same.

I think forgiveness is close to the same concept, but invokes a kind of black/white sense of right/wrong, and sometimes, a situation isn't so clear-cut.

 

[EveHarrington]

I think that those who don't understand PTSD tend to push forgiveness when as already said, PTSD and forgiveness are 2 different animals.