Relationship Girlfriend With Ptsd Avoids Me - When Do I Give Up?

[Nicolette]

I just figured it would be inappropriate seeing as she works in a mental health building.

If she has the capacity to work she has the capacity to see you (and you would think she would want to).

 

[HopelessBoyfriend]

Well, this past weekend she tried to visit for New Year's. She lives a little ways away. She left at 2PM on Saturday and tried to call and give me updates. She explained that she has depersonalization disorder which makes it very dangerous for her to drive if she gets into that state.

She called a few times, tried to give updates, but ultimately only made it two-thirds of the way before she called her aunt (who lived nearby) to pick her up at around 11PM (it was getting cold and foggy). She tried again the next day and made it only a few miles before freezing again in a grocery store parking lot. Her sister picked her up and her friend drove her car back to her sister's house. She's been there since Sunday.

I asked if she wanted to meet for dinner with her sister (and her sister's daughter) last night. At first she said yes and that sh would talk to her sister, but when I didn't get a call back, I called at 7PM and she said she didn't want to go.

I haven't heard from her since.

 

[arcc14]

Have you talked to any of her friends or family members? My guess is that she is in another relationship/married and is thinking about cheating with you, but keeps wimping out before actually doing it.

I'm sorry this is happening to you.

 

[deez76]

I am basically in the same boat as you. I met a girl online almost a year in a half ago. She seemed too good to be true till I found out about her condition. We never met yet. I give her all the love and patients I can muster. I am at my whits end and I gave her the ultimatum and my fears became reality. She rather break up than meet up.. I know she loves me but can't bear to meet me. I know it sounds strange and all these other posters are pretty much a- holes for not understanding in a forum like this. Considering the whole reason why she is messed up is because of a past relationship. It is because she loves you so much she is afraid of how you will think of her when she freezes up and cant function and gets a panic attack. We know it will be scary but we will not think any less of her but that does not register. Today, I think is our last day "together". It has been 5 months since your last response and I am wondering what happened. Did you give up or did things get better? I would like to converse with you if you are inclined to do so and help each other out. Since not many people seem to understand what we are going through. I would love to hear from you and wished i came to this site earlier.
Thanks.

 

[ProudWife99]

Deez76 - I hope that you are able to gain some perspective and reconsider your opinions regarding this thread. I hope that you find peace in your own relationship. I also hope that instead of reaching out to someone who is wrapped up in the same unhealthy cycle as you are, you listen to those who only care to help you find happiness and healthiness.

 

[Taven Carlsen]

I guess if you meet each other (my Freudian hands are trying to type "meat eat otehr") quickly. But talking and talking and not meeting each other? This is why internet dating seems strange.

 

[Pepper]

I feel you! I met this guy online.. And it's been 6 months or so, I wanted to leave him just it's so hard to say bye.

1st time he said he wanted to meet me then he just disapear a day before, 2nd time quite the same story, 3rd time I'm already tired but I don't know just something about him always brings me back to him

I wonder is this has anything to do with his PTSD or is it just him?

So I don't know do I leave or do I stay? He kept saying sorry and promise this time he won't do it..I don't know really.. I do have feelings for him. I know it sounds stupid to ever get emotionally attached when you never even met the person .. But too bad that's pretty much what's happening to me.. I know he got PTSD and I learned it .. Thought that OK at least I'll give it a try and see if I can handle it.. But he won't even let me come in to his life.

So I don't know if it's him and his PTSD or what.. And I kinda feel I don't wanna waste my time but on the other side, he's in my mind always.. I'm just glad I am not the only one .

There at least 2 other guys have similar story like mine..