Had A Really Bad Day And Let My Mind Wander To A Trigger...

[snappy_turtle]

I had a really rough day at work. All my experiments were having issues that were beyond my control. Then was fortunate enough to be able to call it a day at a reasonable enough hour to go exercise after work.

Instead I locked myself out of my car and ended up waiting an hour for AAA come let me in. When the guy did manage to open my car up he had done substantial damage to my door and car window. Tried not to focus in it. Called my boyfriend hoping hearing his voice would help but he was busy and I let him get back to his plans since he is out of town on business this week.

Then I went on facebook and saw something someone I really dislike posted and it threw me into a state of anxiety. That particular person is a trigger for me, and has been for the last 8 months. I parked at my apartment and for the last hour I'm trying to fight my anxiety away, that feeling in my gut like I'm about to get really upset at the next smallest thing that rubs me any way but right. I feel pinned to my driver seat in my parked car and can't move like I feel heavy.

Just focusing on how I feel is making me want to cry an I don't know why I'm feeling like this right now. I feel so damn dumb for crying for no particular reason. I don't know what to do. No amount of music I'm listening to or trying to scream at the top of my lungs to is helping.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I'm sorry you're having a rough day.

If that person on Facebook causes you stress, you can block them. I have a bunch of stressful people blocked.

 

[snappy_turtle]

The problem is that this person isn't someone i can avoid, even if I blocked that person on facebook. That individual lives with my boyfriend and run ins with them are often. That's why I've been avoiding going over there. If I block that person, they will notice and ask what's wrong and quite honestly any interaction with that individual makes me very VERY uncomfortable. Sadly my boyfriend moving out isn't an option, despite how many times I've presented this information and stressed the severity of the situation to my boyfriend.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

You have the opportunity to carve out a safe space on Facebook, but you don't. Either option is going to distress you, one will distress you repeatedly (doing nothing), whereas the other option will distress you during the confrontation but will give you peace later in the way of not being triggered on Facebook. It's your choice.

 

[Err0r]

The problem is that this person isn't someone i can avoid, even if I blocked that person on facebook. That individual lives with my boyfriend and run ins with them are often.

To be real, though, how is this person going to know that you're not following them on facebook anymore? Is it really going to be that obvious?

You deserve to have a safe space, whether that be in your home on virtually. You deserve to cut ties when you need to. Have your boyfriend come to your house or meet him somewhere else besides his apartment. You are not required to go over to his place if it triggers you. Do what's best for you.

 

[WillyKat]

Sorry you had a rough day. I had a bad one yesterday too and today is only marginally better. Anger, lots of it.

Make sure you're safe. That's #1.

Also, I agree w/ ErrOr. Click the down arrow next to that person's post on FB and choose what you get from them. You can block most of their posts w/o blocking all. They won't notice.

 

[snappy_turtle]

I had a bad one yesterday too and today is only marginally better. Anger, lots of it

Today's only gotten worse... My car got vandalized by a gang last night/this morning in my apartment complex parking lot. They've keyed the entire thing minus two doors and have gang writing on it now. I broke down this morning and started to cry when I saw it. My car wasn't the nicest or the worst looking in the group but only mine got keyed and vandalized like that. Not to mention I didn't get any sleep last night for some reason. I had nightmares the night before, and I just couldn't fall asleep last night. I believe in premonitions, odd as that sounds. Somehow I could feel as though something was happening without actually knowing that there was something going on.

You can block most of their posts w/o blocking all. They won't notice.

I'm going to do just that, right away. Thank you for your advice. :) I truly appreciate it.

Sorry to know you've had some bad days lately, too. I hope yours get better soon. *hugs*

 

[WillyKat]

Re: premonitions. I believe there is a level of consciousness or awareness that civilized cultures (ours) have taught us do not exist. Too bad because it prevents a connection to the Earth that is really powerful.

And I guess that makes sense. If you're a King, elected officials, or even managers, you can't have people believing in a connection to the Earth; it undercuts their authority.