Happy new years eve my a**

[Changing4Best]

Sweet dreams everyone who is headed off to bed.

 

[mumstheword]

We are well into the 1 of 2018 (it's 8pm here) and although I and my guy had a peaceful night to ourselves at home, our kids were witness to some horrible, stupid violence in town. A couple of my youngest daughters friends (boys) were skylarking around and my partner's son's friend's mum was accidentally pushed over and cut her head. Her husband got very angry and, we're not sure who hit him, because it escalated quickly with a mob of young guys defending, anyway he got very hurt. He was knocked over and has ended up in a coma that he just now came out of. So I hope it's ok to post that here but I'm identifying with the sentiment of this thread right now. I've met the mum, but not the guy who got the head injury, and I know the boys who accidentally started it. I haven't got to talk to my daughter yet, her phone is not contactable but I believe she might have been there. My step son saw it all. My partner also knows the guy who's hurt.

 

[Warrior Chicken]

We’re all in 2018 now. I have your backs, understand the pain, confusion, frustration, random emotions, memories that don’t give you air to breathe, the nightmares, daymares, physical sh/t that occurs. I know, cuz I’m with you. I also know you look for danger when I can’t, give advice when clarity is lost, pass hope with a cup of coffee.
Thanks....tough year for many of us. We’re here, keep going.
That’s all I got now.

 

[Gamereign555]

Ugh... I was on the road to recovering from all the work I have had to do lately. New Year’s rolls around and Bam! I’m extremely stressed from the events earlier in dealing with my family. My head is stuffed with inner dialogue and feels like I have brain fog. I’m so tired hopefully I wake up feeling better. I can’t handle a bad case of persistent brain fog right now.

 

[SeekingAfrica]

It hit me about an hour ago that I leave in three days for inpatient and I have been wanting to crawl out of my skin ever since.

Are you nervous about inpatient? I've never done it, but I think it's a really good idea if you need it. Even if you are anxious. You are doing something good for your health, for yourself!

Combined with the fact that this time of year inevitably makes me think about people who are no longer around and I really miss.

Yup.

I woke up at noon today, coughing too, and it's really freaking me out, like I have started the NY already late and I have to rearrange whatever I planned to do today. I'm trying to get over it though, hot coffee really helps.

My other problems with New Year are that :
a. Anxiety, I overthink a lot- on NY inevitably I have this wave of panic about what I have managed and not managed during that year. And if it was a bad year especially, suddenly I feel like everything I didn't manage in that year needs to be done in the first weeks of the New Year- piles and piles of tasks...completely unrealistic and irrational, but it happens
and
b. I just realized this now, but NY and December is when I became really aware something was highly wrong(PTSD-I just didn't have the name then, and not for a year after). My trauma that awoke every other memory happened in summer, but in foreign country, so I blocked it off until I was home in September. And then September through December was a string of looking for jobs, having nightmares and panic attacks, being jumpy, eating to much or too little, sleeping too much, but never resting and everything being all hightened and feeling like I'll jump out of my skin if anyone touches me. Crying all the time. Having so vivid nightmares that I was throwing up all the time. But I was fighting it and hiding it, not knowing what is wrong, and not even wanting to think about the summer. It was around December that it really hit me that it's been 7 months since what happened, and I started to understand that leaving it behind won't be quite as easy...And really dreading what all that meant. I just remembered all this now, something in this topic...The whole thing started 7 years ago...wow, so weird to realize that...it's like a lifetime ago. But it's always good to start understanding your feelings better.

 

[SophiaWisdom]

Thank GOD for this thread! I can't believe I didn't remember this forum until now, almost 4am in 2018 and the demons in my head woke about an hour ago.

YES and YES and YES this has been just an utterly horrible holiday season (despite good things and positive blessings, it still was the holidays, and lonely, and just SUCK).

Tonight - I'm just glad the season is over and we don't have any more horribleness for a little respite.

So many of you said things that helped me, cheered me. It IS 2018 - I started living in 2018 a week ago - So ready for the past to be the past.

nothing good happens after midnight.

This one particularly helped me. It seems that's when the horrible voices of fear come to prey on me - right around midnight. (cool screenname too!)

 

[SeekingAfrica]

So ready for the past to be the past.

Me too! I'm going to try to reset myself soon. Not because a new year begins, but because I just need a fresh start.

 

[KwanYingirl]

@SophiaWisdom that was my mantra to my children when they were teenagers. No matter what do NOT drive after midnight. They still stick to that in their 30’s!

 

[SophiaWisdom]

'm going to try to reset myself soon.

YES! Great way of putting it.
Do you have a particular way you like to reset yourself? I love doing this every year/season (whatever time frame makes sense) and I'm always interested in different ways of resetting.

No matter what do NOT drive after midnight. They still stick to that in their 30’s!

I really could have used this advice! I'm in my 30s now and I'll absolutely start not only practicing it but applying it to other things. I got rid of my car so maybe I should say, "Don't Uber/Lyft after midnight" :)

 

[SeekingAfrica]

YES! Great way of putting it.
Do you have a particular way you like to reset yourself? I love doin...

Never really thought of describing it...I'll think about it and write back today.

 

[FauxLiz]

Are you nervous about inpatient? I've never done it, but I think it's a really good idea if you need it. Even if you are anxious. You are doing something good for your health, for yourself!

I am terrified of inpatient I have never been in anything other than my individual therapy and one three day “healing workshop “. No group therapy, only choosing my own t and always with the power to walk out the door if it started to hit a nerve I wasn’t ready to deal with yet.

This has been my decision I just really hope it helps.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I am terrified of inpatient

It may surprise you with some real good for your healing. I am hoping it will be a really good experience for you in your healing and recovery and you will gain a lot of real good out of it. Good luck.:hug: