Hate Doctors And Therapists

[joeylittle]

Ok. Are you going at all to the day program? I know they can be boring, but I've always found them helpful; they make structure and a place you need to be, plus create contact with others.

 

[BuckarooBanzai]

I agree with JoeyLittle. Day programs were developed for exactly this sort of scenario.

Some structure, day support, arts and crafts, music, Thai chi, friendly conversation ... sounds just right.

Hope you will consider this option.

Ben

 

[Beebee]

No, right now I am not going. The day hospital is closed on august, anyway I can't go in september because I have lessons at morning -I am in college, I did really bad last year because I missed my examns due to anxiety-.
The activities are from 9am to 12am, appointments with the therapist from 9am to 15am. This is why I just had psychotherapy.

I have read about day hospital activities but where I go... It's just crap. I am highly uncomfortable and I don't feel safe.

They talk about what it's on newspaper, then they eat something, then they do an activity -like watching a film-, free time and an educational activity like social skills learning.

Nurses talk to you as if you were 3years old and do pretty basic and obvious stuff during activities. While doing some 'cognitive exercise' they asked me to do some maths that a 6 years old would do. It's annoying. I don't know what the hell I am supposed to do there.

I am sorry if this sounds arrogant, but after talking with other people from the day hospital I realized most of them have other types of problems, I just don't fit there. I guess I am there because it's the only day hospital and regular mental health places don't want to deal with me.

They don't know what to do with my. I have been told by the psychiatris probably I won't benefit from the activities.

It's fantastic.

 

[BuckarooBanzai]

Beebee,

Day Treatment programs are meant to be easy-going so that anyone can attend and feel safe, even while coming out of a crisis situation. It's all about providing safe structure, preventing isolation, and encouraging positive interactions with the world. If you compare it to college, sure, it will be disappointing but, if you need it in the moment, it makes a nice safe mini-vacation from stress.

I attended day treatment briefly on several occasions. I did enjoy an outing, at one program, to a high-speed linear accelerator. There was a wonderful tai chi program. There were always options as to how to spend my time - and I appreciated the options. And, it was always nice to share a hot lunch with others.

I spent hours every day in the craft room; not only did I enjoy the crafts, but I was given the opportunity to teach and encourage others. I think, at that point, I got more out of that craft room experience than my one-on-one outpatient therapy.

And, I have both a BA and an MA so, like you, I am easily bored.

Positive energy and expectations lead to a positive outcome. And, yes, it's possible to go in miserable but feel more positive as the program moves along.

Ben

 

[joeylittle]

Nurses talk to you as if you were 3years old

Well, I don't mean this to anger you - but you clearly don't know how to actually handle medication if you believe that drinking a bottle of cough syrup is somehow going to be good for your mental health.

Sometimes the options available to us aren't what we wish they were. But - sometimes they are what we've got to work with, and the choice is to make the best of them, or do nothing. Doing nothing results in nothing changing.

Self-medicating isn't going to help. Trying to numb out with substances, getting drunk, smoking pot, whatever - it's not going to help. You're not alone in struggling with that, there are lots of us here (myself included) who have had to work through our problems with self-medicating.

You want help - it's clear from they way you are posting. I believe you don't want to stay in the mental place that you are at. And you learned that there's no real relief from the Dextro.

I don't know how it works in your country; would a private doctor be willing to take you on for free, or for a very reduced scale? Is there anyone at all at the hospital where the day program is that you could lean on a little more, get their help in getting more specialized care?

 

[SometimesWriter]

BeeBee, I just read my last post, and found it didn't come off the way I wanted it to.

The take...

Beebee, I'm with Buckaroo - I don't want this to sound harsh or like I'm REALLY trying to tell you what to do but I followed very nearly the same exact model and it has proven to be the best thing I could have ever done for myself -

My parents were putting me into inpatient very young, way too young - and I realized in my early 20s after a very serious attempt and hospitalization that I was done with suicide and done with hospitals and probably (now definitely) done with traditional talk therapy. And I just worked my ass off to get it the ef together - I stopped acting out, I got into tae kwon do - back then I had to go to a class which was horrible and I didn't always attend because of my anxiety but it was so great to get into a physical way to express my frustrations. Today, you could follow along to videos on YT.

Now that I'm in my 30s I haven't thought of suicide in over 10 years, I work as a suicide counselor actually. I do yoga daily, sometimes twice a day, I've realized that when it comes to traditional therapy - I'm talked to death and done with it. I got onto meetup and found support groups in my area that are free - but there are a ton of holistic therapies you could try, there's even virtual therapy now - the world is wide open for you if you want to find alternate support methods -

I'm now in a supportive, sometimes-chaotic but always safe relationship with a man with autism and PTSD and we're able to really be honest with each other about our limitations. It's allowed us to grow together in leaps and bounds. We work through his meltdowns and my dissociation, I never thought I'd get to be in a relationship like this and we're going strong for 3 years now.

I truly wish you find some peace, I know what it's like to be in and out of institutions and looked at like a non-person. I hope you get some relief soon and please know I'm rooting for you!

 

[Riot]

I agree with the concerns expressed above. @joeylittle tells it as far as self-medicating goes. It might help you temporarily, but in the long run it'll only hurt more. I say this from experience, sadly, and also as someone who heard it like it was from someone else.

You didn't take a large dose by most standards, but like most anything, there are exceptions to standard rules. You said you don't metabolize medication and it was like taking 800-1000mg. From my experience people with lower metabolisms tend to feel the effects much more. (I can relate.)

So, here's the thing. You're right that it's dissociative, but it's also kind of like weed in the sense that if you don't have the right mind frame going on, you really really shouldn't be taking any. If you experienced it as if it were around 1000mg, then you really passed recreational and drove straight into f*cked-ville. I'm glad you were able to get to a hospital and that you're okay.

 

[BuckarooBanzai]

You didn't take a large dose by most standards,

Well, maybe not by addiction standards but - given that the OTC dose for adults is 10-30 mg., with a maximum dose of 120 mg. per day - 300 mg. in one fell swoop is defintely a problem.

Ben

 

[joeylittle]

300 mg. in one fell swoop is defintely a problem.

It's the low end of the recreational dose. I'm not minimizing it, nor is it appropriate for anyone to maximize it. What is relevant, is that it wasn't taken as part of a suicide attempt, it was taken as an intoxicant.

 

[BuckarooBanzai]

Perhaps this comes across differently to me as I don't have a substance abuse background.

All I can say is, from my years in psych training, and having known many who were put on 72 hour holds for much less, this troubles me. I never held this was a suicide attempt but rather perhaps a suicide gesture - and those are serious, too.

Ben

 

[Riot]

Well, maybe not by addiction standards but...

Right, but as @joeylittle mentioned, @Beebee was by and large describing a recreational use of it, or in other words, Robotripping. Going over the recommended dose is obviously done on purpose and the various amounts achieve a wide variety of results.

The point of my last post was to exercise caution when using it in the manner presented, and an attempt to express that I can relate to having a slow metabolism and have had similar experiences while doing the same thing.

There's self destructive behaviors, and then there's suicidal behaviors. I find the line to be a thin one, but a line nonetheless.

 

[mamachick]

BeeBee-I totally agree with what you are saying about the day hospital and know that the psych hospitals do more damage than good. It exposes you to much worse than you have experienced and frankly, some of the employees could benefit more than most of us. I would like the administrators to be put there for a few days and see if they changed how things were done.

I also agree with others-that the day hospital also provides structure and prevents isolation , which can be really important for you right now.
Could you set in your mind, or pretend that you are the intern or writing a book on the program, and instead of feeling like the patient, use the time to be learning from the professionals? That way instead of just doing the math or coloring or another busy activity, you could kind of study what the staff is doing. You could be objective. Who knows, you really might end up contributing to change in this field one day.