Have You Ever Asked To Review Your Records?

[FauxLiz]

My T has a policy that permits patients to to request to view their health records for free once each calendar year. I trust my T a lot, but at the same time because I am not a mind reader I would like to not only know what they believe is important enough to document in my file but what if anything I may have said when I have moderately disassociated during sessions as there have been times when I have walked out and couldn't remember the session.

I have been with my T for just over two years, would it be unreasonable to ask to see them?

 

[chant2012]

Yes. Reasonable. :)

 

[Justmehere]

Totally reasonable to ask. If all you want to do is see them, and not get copies, there should be no charge. I would not recommend reviewing them without your therapist right there to explain or talk through anything that comes up. It would also be worthwhile considering if you are ready to face the things you dissociated out.

I have seen my psychotherapy records with one general therapist. I wish I hadn't seen those. That therapist said it's usually a thing done at the end of therapy or it's usually a therapy ending thing. I'm not sure if I agree or not. My trauma therapist says I can look at hers anytime. I have looked briefly at those and there is almost nothing in them. Many trauma therapists purposefully don't keep notes of trauma because they don't want to be subpoenaed. Instead it's a very vague and general treatment plan, whatever is minimally required for insurance. It varies from therapist to therapist thought, and weather or not insurance is being billed.

 

[Sideways]

I don't think it would be unreasonable to ask, but definitely agree to have your T present. I was given heaps of my medical records as part of an old workcover claim, and reading them was equal parts painful and unhelpful. It's a lot like my journal, with only the worst bits recorded (days where I was doing okay didn't require a lot of detail, days where I was a mess...urgh!), but worse still, it's another person's interpretation of my worst days.

Also, a lot of the language will be misunderstood. Even seemingly benign phrases like "acting out", actually have a very specific meaning and it's not the one most lay people think. So a lot of it is wide open for you to just plain misunderstand.

Also be ready not to get any info that you're actually hoping for. Details of actual conversations are rarely documented, so it's unlikely to shed a lot of light on what you may have said while dissociated. As well as the idea that things that are "important enough" to document - not exactly how it works. Some things they need to document, like if you state an intention and plan to suicide and they have to react to that. But a lot of the stuff is documented more for pure diagnostic (and medication if it's a doctor) reasons, rather than "this statement was really important to my client".

By all means, if you want to see them, ask, it's not unreasonable and there's no hurt in asking. Just be in a good place, and have your T on hand.

Personally, these days my attitude is that I don't care much what my T records for her own purposes, it's what she does with that information that concerns me.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I would like to not only know what they believe is important enough to document in my file

Id like to know how im so interesting that i have a 6 inch file. Though it is 8 years.

I cant view my mental health records. They have a policy where they wont let you see it and will only give it to another therapist. They say its because of the sensitive nature of them. Im sure so someone doesnt read something and take it wrong and go kill themselves or something. Though my therapist did tell me theres no details in there cause i asked him not to write something once and he says its stuff like "severe sexual trauma"..."struggling with self injury" and stuff like that and the therapies we have done or are doing and the results. Im mighty glad theres no detail as each year he has to tell United Health Care Behavioral Health's therapist to "re-up" another year of insurance coverage.

If I had the option to im a very curious person and Id be tempted though I dont think I would. Text is subjective and you may take it one way when it was meant a totally different way or you may not remember something he jotted down and then think he's just writing shit (im going off of my own thinking patterns here). So i dont think i would if i could. Id leave that curious cat alone as it could bite me hard.

 

[FauxLiz]

Thank you everyone for the input. My T has often said that his notes are very minimal but the thing I guess that is always sitting in the back of my mind is how the heck does he remember some of the stuff he does that I have only mentioned maybe once before that I know of if his notes are that minimal? He never writes anything down during a session so I really can't say okay he should have approximately X pages of handwritten notes but also I guess I am wondering if I open this box will I see inside and have a better understanding of how he thinks we are progressing without having to come right out and ask him that question.

 

[Suzetig]

I think it's fine to ask to see your notes, but wonder what's stopping you from just asking the question?

 

[Naoru]

I'm with @Suzetig - What is stopping you from asking? and if you are concerned, ask him how he remembers details if his notes are that minimal?

It may not be a wise decision/useful to read your records. A hundred years ago when I was in therapy the first time, I received a copy of my mine (military). It was quite an experience.

I read my current T's notes whenever she leans a certain direction with her notepad. I do not see whatever she transfers to my file, but in my case, the information is really only tidbits of info that helps her help me ... but things run a little differently here and it takes longer to scribble in Japanese. ;)

 

[FauxLiz]

@Suzetig and @Naoru I guess what is stopping me from asking the question is fear. I am afraid that he doesn't think I have progressed as much as I think/hope I have as for the first time really since I started seeing him my personal and work life are relatively stable right now and I am wanting to really dig into some major hard work in the upcoming months as I am relatively certain that I have at most 20 months before it is likely I will have to relocate for work and I would like to get through a lot of this with a T I trust rather than starting the process all over again if/when I relocate.

 

[Suzetig]

That's exactly the conversation I'd be having with him, if things are stable for you otherwise it can be good to do some deeper work for a while. What makes you think he won't think you've progressed?

 

[EveHarrington]

I'd never want to see those notes. Ever. At the end of the day, who cares if someone else thinks you're progressing or not? Their opinion means beans. What matters is if YOU think you are progressing. I also think that given your level of fear, seeing those notes will only set you back if there is something that is inaccurate or if you don't agree with your therapist. Why are you giving his opinion so much power when it doesn't deserve it?

 

[FauxLiz]

@Suzetig it is not that I think he will say I haven't progressed, I am just not sure that we both agree I am stable enough. It is coming up on what is traditionally the most difficult time of the year for me. The number of trauma anniversaries between Halloween and the end of February combined with either spending holidays without my children due to custody issues or worse with my family of origin which have their own set of combined guilt, shame and oh yeah abuse/neglect to pile on me while returning to a location where I was traumatized by multiple people physically and sexually from grade school through high school I worry that he will want to wait until we are through this period before doing the hard work as the only times I have attempted suicide has been during the "holiday" season.

@EveHarrington I give his opinion power because he is the first person I have trusted since before I have memory (I only have a handful of memories prior to being about age 14) and in all honesty I tend to trust his opinion of where I am more than I do my own because other than my kids he is the first person that I can remember in my life (me included) that doesn't tell me I am a vile worthless piece of trash.