Poll Have You Had To Abandon Any Nicknames Because Of Trauma?

[Fadeaway]

I have no clue how to answer this. I never had a positive nick names as a child. I had a lot of abusive nick names as a kid, I hated them. I always wanted to be called sweetie or princess or something. It was something I craved as a child but never got. Not the horrible names I was called.

My husband really thinks changing my birth name would help me. I hate hearing it. I prefer to use my gamer name. @Ayesha was changing your name easy or difficult to do?

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

I still really hate hearing my birth name and it was always like that. It never fit me. It never felt like me, like mine and it was so often used in a negative way. Also it sounds like something for a little girl not an adult. It sounds like a kids name and then the only other place I would see the name was in romance novels every once in awhile. :O_o:

@Fadeaway Do you mean legally or emotionally?

 

[Let It Be]

Part of my trauma was that my father would on purpose call me by my sister's name, just to get an reaction from me. Here I was an adult, and he would take delight in seeing how I would react to this behavior. Everyone knew she was the favorite in the family so having a sense of self, and using my own name sometimes just didn't happen.

My name is unusual, even named after my father, so having a nickname was kinda hard to have. People have a hard time spelling it correctly anyway.

Also, it was a big relief and lots of healing for me when I went back to my maiden name. I had been a victim of domestic violence so was still carrying that around with me until I legally changed my last name. So much freedom in doing that name change.

 

[Hashi]

@Fadeaway there's a thread about it here: https://www.myptsd.com/threads/name-changes.33527/

I think unless you're in a country with very strict rules (see p-no's posts in that thread) it's easy in practical terms.

Think of how many women change their names when they get married - people are used to it. Whatever certification you get for a name change, you just supply it when needed.

Personally, I think living with a name that has difficult associations is much more work.

 

[Go Hungry]

I had them use my actual name against me. My first name is Mark, my middle initial is E. So I became Markie to them. And boy did they wear it out. Constantly. That's all they would address me as, because they knew I hated it. Even now it still gets me.

But then one time later I acquired the nickname 'Caddyshack' because of an 'incident' involving a golf course, that happened at the same time Caddyshack 2 was on HBO. So now instead of Markie they were all calling me Caddyshack. But this time I was the one who wore it out. I took it from them. I started introducing myself to people as Caddyshack, started scrawling it on chalkboards, signing yearbooks with that name; just doing everything I could think of to possess it as mine. Once they saw I was enjoying it they stopped. I didn't. So it just became my nickname overall. :)

Here's to taking back your power. :coffee:

 

[Kefira]

"I chose to rename myself and that has been empowering"?

This thread has been really good for me to see. I didn't know I wasn't super abnormal in no longer going by my birth name, the name I was called during my most severe traumas. I go by my middle now with all but family, and it's so hard to be called by my first name when I'm with them. It brings up its own small problems since there's no standard way to indicate that you use your middle name, but it's worth the inconvenience. I really notice a huge difference in how I feel and act when I'm able to leave the old name behind.

 

[Orglethorp]

Like the original poster, I'm also a Jennifer who gave up "Jenny" after developing PTSD because it's a stressor. I can handle any variation of Jennifer except that. I prefer Jenna or simply Jen.

My family continued to call me Jenny for over a decade. The ones who were around me most adopted the change quickest, except Grandpa, but somehow it was okay if he said it. It wasn't until Facebook really took off as a public social network that people who had previously known me as Jenny really stopped using that name, because they saw "Jenna" paired with my picture so much.

 

[Changing4Best]

I gave up my nickname because it did not sit well with my profession. It was "Wheeler" and my profession was jewelry making. I asked folks not to call me by it any more, as I did not want one of my clients to hear it and think I was a wheeler dealer kind of person. I made custom made wedding band sets and other one of a kind pieces.

No, my nickname was not used in any of my traumas, nor was this any kind of problem. So I voted no on this.

 

[Ellabella44]

hmm well my given name is too formal to me, and i gave up the nickname i preffered because it didnt fit me anymore.... i prefer the shortened form of my name which is also the male form of it... somehow it seems more approachable to me. though i absolutely fully enjoy being a woman in case thats a question. I play massive multiplayer online games so my nicknames have changed with each game... friends i have from the one i played during my breakdown still call me Ella which is short for my hobbit burgular ellatoestabber and my name here is part of that one and stellabella which was my healer in the same game. it comforts me to have ellabella as my name when im somewhere like this site.

 

[Capt_Gruuvy]

I hate my birth name. It's short so there is no shortening it. Once I got a VW Van people started to call me Groovy. I can handle that.

 

[littlelotte]

I actually did sort of the opposite. I abandoned my real birth name for my nickname. Now my legal name is what my nickname was.

I used to and still panic when people call me by my birth name. My T called me by my birth name once and I looked at him like he betrayed me. It freaked me out that he knew and that he could scare me like that.

I did not vote because I do not think any apply to me but I wanted to share. :)

This is the same as me. I was abused as a child and changed my name when I went to college, so now when someone calls me by my legal name it gives me anxiety.

 

[Ronin]

Changed my name, and me & names status is perma set on 'complicated'. I've been answering to a lot of nicknames offline, in many ways happier when there was no need even for them and I've just flown by on relatively anonymous, and online it's quite often just random pick, mood-of-the-day kind of choice.

I'm generally not all that bothered with XYZ changes. They're refreshing. They're helpful. Changing what's grown on me or doesn't work is moving somewhere. I like that move.