Relationship He Blew Me Away This Morning.

[sisu]

Sephira,
How long will he be in Bahrain? Long distance relationships are tough, and even tougher with PTSD involved.

I am so glad you are getting therapy. :tup: Take care of yourself and do things that make you happy ~ mani/pedi, a new outfit, a new purse or shoes, a massage or out to eat with girlfriends are some ideas. Maybe make a list of the things that make you happy or that put a smile on your face. When you are feeling down, just pull out that list and go do whatever that thing is. As you said, with his job right now his stress cup is always flowing over. Anything you might say could be a trigger for him right now....with the exception of manipulation I would avoid confrontational conversations right now as he is unable to fully handle them. Threatening the relationship seems to be a way for him to get a reaction from you. What if when he said those things again you had no reaction? I mean, you naturally would have a reaction....but since he is not in your physical presence you can appear not to have a reaction since that is what he is looking for. Don't allow the manipulation ~ take control of YOUR reaction. ;)

 

[ProudWife99]

Sephira,

Many hugs to you! I read your post and my heart hurt for you. In the middle of a really terrible episode, my husband calmly sat me down and told me he felt nothing for me and all he could figure out was that it must mean we should split up. Emotionally I couldn't let his numbness alter my behavior any longer. If he was going to stop loving me, than he was just going to do it.

When I spoke with his therapist about it she told me that he was going through a period where he really, truly couldn't feel anything for me one way or another. He wasn't lying to me and he wasn't trying to hurt me. He literally shut himself down. Her advice to me was to just let him. It was difficult, but the next time we spoke I (as calmly as I could) told him I wouldn't press the issue. I told him I didn't personally want a separation, but I wouldn't make it difficult for him to leave. Shortly after I left to stay with a family member he "snapped" out of it. He tells me now that once I left and he didn't have anyone else around him to blame for his emptiness, he knew it wasn't me.

I know every situation is different, but don't allow manipulation to determine how you behave. I had to stop trying to save my marriage and start trying to help my husband and sometimes those two things were very different. I know it's not easy, but I'll be praying for you!