Making a big commitment and finding stability is a lot for this man right now. I bet it you look at his past, when he left for boot camp, and got cheated on and hurt, I bet you find that something in the present circumstances is triggering that relationship trauma. Just a hunch.
I could be way wrong.
Leaving your stuff in the living room I think is what he did. I just see that as the over-reactivity that goes with PTSD combined with being very betrayed and hurt, and that hurt has not healed yet.
You sound like a gentle and non-reactive style of person, and that is going to be very helpful to him over time when he can learn from and emulate your consistent calmness in daily ups and downs. Right now, he doesn't have a grip on that yet.
He really needs to get stable with some meds and therapy until his stress passes, whatever is triggering him, and he needs to find and articulate his emotional and environmental triggers and get more tolerant of them so he can process them instead of react and affect you. That is what I worked on and set some small goals to work on.
When I find a trigger in my environment, I deliberately expose myself to this or let myself encounter it at random and set the goal of just getting through with breathing (at first I had to have meds, then cold water, and essential oils, and other supports).
He can do it, but honestly, he has to be the one to want to do better for himself and for you. :)
Hugs and support as you try to be patient and give him space to see if he's going to respond to your warmth. I hope he does, because that will be his saving grace, if he sees that your love is important, which it is.
Bless you,
Muse
I could be way wrong.
Leaving your stuff in the living room I think is what he did. I just see that as the over-reactivity that goes with PTSD combined with being very betrayed and hurt, and that hurt has not healed yet.
You sound like a gentle and non-reactive style of person, and that is going to be very helpful to him over time when he can learn from and emulate your consistent calmness in daily ups and downs. Right now, he doesn't have a grip on that yet.
He really needs to get stable with some meds and therapy until his stress passes, whatever is triggering him, and he needs to find and articulate his emotional and environmental triggers and get more tolerant of them so he can process them instead of react and affect you. That is what I worked on and set some small goals to work on.
When I find a trigger in my environment, I deliberately expose myself to this or let myself encounter it at random and set the goal of just getting through with breathing (at first I had to have meds, then cold water, and essential oils, and other supports).
He can do it, but honestly, he has to be the one to want to do better for himself and for you. :)
Hugs and support as you try to be patient and give him space to see if he's going to respond to your warmth. I hope he does, because that will be his saving grace, if he sees that your love is important, which it is.
Bless you,
Muse
