Healing - What has helped you & what does healing look like to you?

[Peaceful Warrior]

What thing or things has helped you in your healing process??? What does healing look like to you?

 

[Friday]

BIG TOPIC!

Just to get the ball rolling… I’ll pick one thing to start, will come back later with others… I think one of the things that has helped me the most was that I didn’t know “this” was PTSD, the first time my life went sideways, or that anything needed healing/etc.. I thought “this” was just the cost of doing business, and who I was now. That I didn’t LIKE who I was? Gave me all the power. Because if I didn’t like things about myself? I was the only one who could a) determine what I didn’t like, and b) fix that! Change it, in any event, closer to being who I wanted to be. So I set about doing that. In 10,000 different ways.

Doing so? It took me somewhere between 5-7 years to unf*ck my head/heart & become the person I wished to be. Or near enough as to make no nevermind, reach & grasp being 2 different things.

10 years later, when a series of unfortunate events (new traumas, stress & stressors, loss of coping mechanisms) drop kicked me back to square 1? I’d gone to university by then, and knew I didn’t have to reinvent the wheel, and could both stand on the shoulders of giants & crowd source; seeking both expert advice (therapy, books), and tales from the trenches (my peeps!).

I’ve seen soooooo many people new to PTSD who think they “have to” wait for therapy & therapists; who have yet to come to understand that even WITH badass therapy, 95% of the work happens outside the office, not in session… that knowing I can do this on my own, and that any help is extra? Makes it arguably the most helpful thing. (Stress Cup = it’s opponent for first place!).

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What does healing look like? (To me). In process of becoming the person I want to be, living the life I wish to lead. Which may mean I’m a f*cking disaster, or hot mess, or in the whole “it gets worse before it gets better” stage, or fighting just to keep treading water, or 2 steps forward 1 back (or 1 forward, and 2 back, losing ground), or, or, or. Healing? Ain’t pretty. Cause it ain’t done… yet.

 

[Roland]

I've been to therapy, but I can't say it really helped much. I had one really good therapist and a really good psychologist, but other than that the therapists I had were unhelpful and possibly harmful. What really DID help was talking to people, telling my story, but more so, writing, journaling, painting. I'm a very self aware person. So I started recognizing when I got triggered and purposefully mentally separating past triggers from present stimuli. Reminding myself that X person/place/situation isn't the same as my trauma. This helped a lot in my marriage because by the time I met my husband I did that so much that I didn't automatically blame the person that triggered me. I'd be upset but say "this isn't from you". Back to journaling and painting, I used to write about or paint my flashbacks, and that helped just getting them out. One of my worst memories, one of being molested, I wrote a story where I got saved and escaped the situation. Obviously that didn't happen in real life, but my mind was so searching for an ending to that memory (I didn't remember) so I decided to write a better one. I stopped needing to know what happened and just accept that bad things happened that I don't remember.

 

[arfie]

i'll second @Friday 's notion that it is a BIG subject, but important enough to tackle as often as possible.

What thing or things has helped you in your healing process?

i'm going to list radical acceptance and mindfulness at the very top of my list. i find it far easier to deal with an ugly truth than a pretty lie, no matter how many ribbons and bows i put on that pretty lie. with radical acceptance of the ugly truths, i open the door to effective healing measures. with mindfulness of the fallout of ugly truths, i can navigate the proverbial battle field with gentle, hopeful compassion for all combatants.

What does healing look like to you?

to me, healing looks like a restorative rest followed by a healthy bowel movement. no nightmares. no gut knots. just restorative rest and a holy shit.