Relationship He's Pressuring Me To Get Out Now

[Wastinglight]

I knew it would happen soon, but it still hurt so much when he starting pressuring me to move out of the house yesterday.

Luckily one of my friends has offered to take me in for a few days, so I stayed at her place last night. Hopefully I won't have to go back to the house before I move out. I put in an application for a rental property - fingers crossed I get it.

 

[Sighs]

Fingers crossed for you here too!

Hugs!

 

[Della]

Oh wow honey, my heart goes out to you hugs to you as well. PTSD can really ruin the lives of people their friends, children, and their partners or spouses the same way that addictions ruin lives as well. They both are a disease sometimes there is treatment or either a cure but for this case, I'm not sure what his future holds for him. I hope you can get the place so you yourself can begin to heal. You were hurt and traumatized by this relationship as well. You have endured a lot of mental strain yourself and it has taken a toll on you too. Hang in there and remember that we are here for you ok? Love to you :-)

 

[nursenurse]

Good luck. It just sucks.:hug:s.

 

[Wastinglight]

Thank you so much @Sighs and @Della. I know I will be okay, but I really worry about him. I think he's been in a bad place the past few months, and the break up is only likely to make it worse. I have put almost 4 years of serious, dedicated work into my own self-development, and I know that, even though I made some stupid mistakes and didn't always behave healthily in this relationship, I will continue to work on me. Eventually I will find someone who is prepared to love and commit to me in the same way that I loved and committed to C.

He said to me many times in the past, that if this relationship didn't work out, that "that would be it" - meaning he will swear off relationships altogether. I worry that this break up will cause him to retreat even further into his shell and not start the work of addressing the issues that caused him to give up on me. He says he doesn't feel love for me anymore, so I guess that makes it easy for him to bail, and that hurts, but I hope he at least takes some time to think about why he rejected me. I hope he has the courage to try again one day. Even though I can't bear the thought of him being with someone else right now, I would hate to think that he will end up alone. His parents are his main support, and in some ways, his closest "friends", but they won't be around forever. Only a couple of months ago, they were talking about moving interstate to live near his sister, so she could look after them as they older. C isn't capable of looking after his parents as they get older - he doesn't even let his mum come to his house (even though his parents own the house) - and his dad only comes around when absolutely necessary. I was the only person he willingly allowed into his house, and now I have been deemed an "unsafe" person - someone who stresses him rather than being pleasant to be around. I imagine his parents are probably angry with me for "stuffing things up" because now C is their burden again. They won't be able to move in the near future.

I know the chance of things working out with us is slim to none, but I hope he doesn't give up completely on the idea of being in a relationship. I will cope with the loss of this relationship, but I don't think I could cope with that being his fate.

 

[Wastinglight]

@Della - yes, I experienced mental strain, but I'm strong enough to cope with that. I have suffered from an anxiety disorder since I was a little girl, so as strange as it sounds, mental turmoil and emotional anguish is "normal" for me. I deal with it every day.

Most people probably think of me as weak because I have a mental illness, but I think the opposite is true. Most people would bail on someone like C within a couple of weeks - days even, because his difficulties are hard to cope with on a daily basis. Yes, it was hard going, living with him, but it didn't feel like a sacrifice to me.

 

[Della]

I don't see mental illness as a weakness. Just a little set back that's all. Just like if somebody hurt their ankle, they will start to limp right? So because the ankle is hurt, it puts a limit as to how fast or well the leg can perform. So until the ankle heals, the leg will have a set back as to how it can perform. So people with mental illness still function but they just don't do it as fast or well as some normal people do. :-)

 

[Wastinglight]

I don't see mental illness as a weakness. Just a little set back that's all. Just like if somebody hurt t...

Everyone on this forum would agree with you. Sorry, I meant people whose lives haven't been touched by mental illness.

 

[Della]

Yes, people who have not gone through something like mental illness or addiction will not understand. to be honest I have been through both dealing with somebody with an addiction and dealing with somebody with a mental illness. So I got a double dose of stuff but guess what? I'm still here and I'm still standing. :-)