Hope I'll be the last diary I'll ever write

Guess I'll have to find strengh in fictionnal characters. You know that people that actually achieve the impossible. May Sai from Naruto leeds me.
I have a thing for emotionnal crippled youngly traumatised characters.
 
I'm thinking about reading the surgery I went trought when I was four. Maybe that would help me to pardon myself for all that turned wrong after this. I don't think to find the actual process my body lived, but anything close enought to understand. I still think I need to understand, logic always was so important to me
 
what I belive my friends to think about me : I'm done with her
what my friends more likely think about me : why she keeps being so mean to herself ?
 
So when I was a child then a teenager I had no one to guide or emotionally support me. So I learnt the intrusive thoughts of my favorit manga's character : fruits basket
 
I wonder if there is a website called reasonstolive.com (mostly a joke, I'm just very tired because I had 3 distincts reasons to freakout THIS WEEK)
 

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