Hormones, Not Able To De-stress Ever

[Chava]

Thanks again
@franciemarnie . I know crying is good and I've gotten a tiny bit more okay with it but it is the feeling of infinity right now and if I start my body will collapse or something, like I can't physically withstand it. But I know if I can get my body slightly on track this all has to come out in manageable bits. I can't manage any of it on my own right now. I see my therapist in a few days and it almost feels like the crying thing, like I am carefully withholding so I don't drop into an endless pit and have to leave seemingly a few minutes later.

 

[Chava]

I've also developed a heart arrhythmia in the last few months...comes along with stress, raised blood pressure and raised blood sugar (all lab stuff they found when they did a couple EKGs).

Damn it.

What is Cortisol?
Cortisol is the "master" of all hormones and adequate cortisol function allows our bodies to respond to various stressors. Stress is an inevitable part of life, but when stress becomes out of proportion, it takes a toll on overall health. It is estimated that up to 90 percent of medically-related issues are linked to stress. Elevated cortisol interferes with the function of other essential hormones, and can result in insulin and thyroid resistance, estrogen imbalance, progesterone deficiencies, and even testosterone fluctuations. While cortisol is a vital hormone of the body, optimal levels are required to achieve health.

• Hormone made by adrenals and increases with age
• Balances blood sugar
• Activates immune system response
• Involved in bone turnover rate
• Contributes to mood and thought
• Determines sleep
• Influences activity of thyroid, insulin, DHEA, testosterone and estrogen

Link Removed

 

[KwanYingirl]

There is a very woman-centered book by Dr. Christians Northrup titled "The Wisdom of Menopause". She goes into depth about hormones, stress, adrenal wasting due to chronic stress. She is an OBGYN. She became disenchanted with Western medicine because her patients suffered so and she became interested in Oriental medicine, bio identical hormones, supplements, etc. She's famous now and has retired from practice. I learned a lot from that book and I wasn't even menopausal.
Cha a, you're not alone with all your hormone disturbances. Nothing happens in the body without the influence of hormones. The whole endocrine system is inter related. Poly cystic ovaries are the result of a pituitary hormone called the follicle stimulating hormone. Ideally it gets secreted every 28 days to "tell" the ovary to secrete a follicle which once in the Fallopian tube it's called an egg. In PCOS the FSH never shuts off and follicles are constantly being secreted and they glom onto the ovaries and then it's hell on wheels with too much progesterone being produced because the body is constantly getting prepared for pregnancy. The irony is that women with PCOS are usually infertile.
Cortisol and insulin dance together. When they get unbalanced it's not happiness. My hope for you is that you have doctors that are educated in the endocrine system. I went to a lecture on Endocrinology by an Endocrinologist from Mass General Hospital and she very bluntly proclaimed that only a handful of Endocrinologists even know enough about the inter relatedness of the system to be able to identify just where the system is flawed.
Knowledge is power. Keep at your docs to see the whole you, not just on piece here or there. PTSD's effect on the system is probably not well understood. When I went through my tears of abject physical dysfunction, only Acupuncture worked along with Chinese herbs (grown organically in US greenhouses).

 

[KwanYingirl]

P.S. My dog has Addisons Disease. Her adrenal glands don't produce cortisol or aldosterone. She went into shock after her spay surgery and she was in a coma for several days. I have to give her prednisone daily and a shot of synthetic aldosterone once a month. She has subsequently developed celiac disease and will most likely develop diabetes. All these diseases are caused by a defect in the same chromosome.

 

[Anarchy]

@Chava Another big hug if you'll accept it. The thought of you, or any tiny baby being away from the person they need most, has me crying.

Your post with the cortisol link has just come up, dysregulation of that hormone is a bugger. Robert Sapolsky, at Stanford, has demonstrated stress induced high levels of cortisol causing damage to the Hippocampus and other areas of the brain.

@KwanYingirl and @Chava, I seem to have been mentioning sapolsky a lot over the past few days. if you get the chance/ time, check out his lecture on "reductionism" in science. The focus on detail rather than systems is a long time methodological flaw in all sciences.

John Briere's quip that if C-PTSD were ever given its full due, the DSM would be reduced to a thin pamphlet, looks like a massive understatement, perhaps a good chunk of general medicine can be explained by it too.

 

[Chava]

@KwanYingirl ...sorry for your dog's struggles but amazing you're able to fit it together and help her be more comfortable.

@Anarchy my primary doc sometimes makes me feel like a dumbshit. I do think she's a good doctor but everyone is so specialized (she internal med and eating disorders, so probably my best doctor option). We don't seem to have a good understanding of how it all connects and the complex trauma thing is so seemingly new. As for diagnosis stuff I used to just assume I had "a little bit of everything." Symptoms all over the place and lots of self-destruction that seemed out-of-proportion to my good qualities and (potentially) good life. I do feel a little more sane just having a therapist who understands trauma, but also realize the best I can do is treat my whole body as a whole system and at least eat well and exercise. It isn't solving all of my problems, but I don't underestimate this stuff...thinking holisms. Somatic-focused therapy helps me listen to my body a little better vs ditch it completely. But I also fear I'm dying a lot, so the sensations aren't pleasant.

 

[Chava]

@KwanYingirl ..just saw the post above the one about your dog. Thanks for that too. I did ask my doctor if I should see an endocrinologist (not sure what they'd do), but she said they can't really test hormones...and understandably they are changing all the time. At that point she prescribed a different pill. That one was horrible...so back to oby/gyn. I see my primary doctor again soon and am keeping notes but I don't have loads of hope for help from that route. I'm just out of balance and can't get in balance.

 

[KwanYingirl]

Chava, I'm an Electrologist (permanent hair removal). I had to learn the endocrine system because so much of unwanted body hair is due to hormone imbalances. My clients go bat shit crazy with their bodies just not working right. They are exhausted, feel like crap and get no help from docs. I see this on a daily basis. I tell them to go to the Endocrine clinic at Mass General. A couple have. One had thyroid tumors and the other had a hysterectomy. (She was very anemic too) they both felt better than ever once their bodies evened out. They initially went to find out why they had beards. I'm so sorry that you feel so rotten and I hope someone can get to the bottom of your symptoms. It's complicated. Have you heard of a website called David Baldwins Trauma Pages? He's a psychologist who is a traumatologist and his site has tons of scientific papers on PTSD. There are quite a few on the bodies response to PTSD. Maybe something would resonate with you. People have to search for clues to their distress. My body went from healthy to dying over a five year exposure to darkroom fumes. My doctors never put all my symptoms together and I just got sicker. My PTSD went into overdrive it was hell for many years. I feel your pain. Have you had an Ultrasound of your pelvic region and your abdomen? Somebody needs to find you a treatment if not a downright cure.

 

[Chava]

@KwanYingirl, maybe I haven't been referred to endocrinology since my labs for thyroid and stuff like that are fine whenever checked (and blood sugar just oddly high when I thought I was just going in for EKG). I'll mention the blood sugar bit to my doctor. My primary doctor used to be in endocrinology but I saw her because she was also an eating disorder specialist. But even in the midst of my lowest weights, I didn't neatly fit the anorexia diagnosis (didn't eat enough, underweight). I believe barely eating was just managing my inner hell, and I sensed if I took care of myself I'd have some eruption of unmanageable energy (yep...and so my body is shooting me back down with pain it seems).

Anyway, yes I've had ultrasound and biopsy. Not a normal or healthy balanced situation, but no cancer. Trying pretty much anything before letting them go in with a scope (too afraid I wouldn't wake up...and the recovery pain...not worth it right now since the situation itself isn't life or death, though it's like it's rolling in that direction since I'm so imbalanced and stressed beyond my maximum capacity). Muscle relaxants actually working a bit though...thinking I will sleep!!!!!!

 

[KwanYingirl]

Ahhhhh sleep. I've heard of that. I've had a laparoscopy when I got my tubes tied. I was drinking heavily at that time in my life. I was petrified of having the procedure, but didn't want to be pregnant ever again. It was a breeze. You have to lay flat for a day so the air they put in to separate body parts doesn't get trapped under the diaphragm. Well, that was impossible as I had a 1 and 3 year old. I didn't cramp up at all. I don't know what they used to put me to sleep, but I didn't get sick from it. All in all it was a very easy procedure. If you do get nauseous just ask for anti nausea meds. You can't even see the tiny scars. I say go for it! Nothing beats getting a good look in there. I'd come with you if you were close enough. Let me know when you have it so I can send good intentions to you.

Do you go to a Chiropracter? If your back or pelvis is out of adjustment it can cause pelvic pain. I had that happen recently thought I was having body memories. Lots of pain couldn't pee. Getting adjustments relieved it completely.

It sounds like your docs are pretty thorough. Hey listen to this story. I went to a woman to have a polarity therapy session. When she got to my liver (I was sober for many years at this time) it triggered an asthma attack. I wanted my inhaler and she literally forced me to not move. I couldn't breathe. Then when I was done she told me to take tepid baths with a cup of raw milk and a lemon cut up under the water. Sit in that for 30 minutes then don't dry off, just get in pajamas and get into a warm bed. Never found any raw milk so I never tried it. But, WTF? The polarity was awesome though.

 

[Chava]

@KwanYingirl Weird you mention some of this because for a while I noticed that by the time I realized I had to pee, I had like one minute or I'd probably pee my pants...it hurt!! Weird, but that somehow resolved. I know I should have the laparoscopy. It's not on the agenda right now because I have some other procedure to try first (which I don't want to mention and get any negative reviews). If that doesn't work and I'm at the end of my options, I will probably work towards feeling more positive about scope option. I know the diagnostics themselves would be very helpful. I just don't think I'm in a good place for being put under, or having to lay still for very long...like I'd want to kill myself. Also, while I don't know exactly how childhood near-death stuff really impacts me these days, I do know that when my lungs collapsed all the air started seeping out and into my back. I don't like the idea of being filled with gas. I think if the time is right I'll make sure there is time to somehow build myself up for that and find supportive people to be with me. It does help to hear that others have survived it and don't have horror stories...thank you...

I did sleep last night...muscle relaxants actually helped (on worst days they do nothing...my body refuses to slow down or shut down). So, that was pretty helpful! I'm going to hide, work on artwork, whatever I want until Monday.