• 💖 [Donate To Keep MyPTSD Online] 💖 Every contribution, no matter how small, fuels our mission and helps us continue to provide peer-to-peer services. Your generosity keeps us independent and available freely to the world. MyPTSD closes if we can't reach our annual goal.

How Did You Sleep Last Night?

Slept fairly well, for me, for a few weeks

I've been sleeping badly enough, recently, that I'm hallucinating ...just a smidge. Teeny tiny bit. Music in the rain, could be coyotes playing, or leaves blowing -or something else altogether- but I'm pretty sure it's coyotes, or leaves in the distance, l kind of thing.

I'm determined to enjoy it, rather than to startle at every "scuff of a shoe, someone walking nearby" ...I.E. whatever imaginary story my mind is supplying to the random in an over tired attempt to find patterns where there aren't any.
 
Terribly! I was on call last night and could not settle because I got that spidey sense that the phone was going to ring. It did; at 1-something am. Out until 4, tried to go back to sleep and must’ve at some point until my alarm went off to go to work. I now have a headache from all the caffeine.

Mostly it doesn’t bother me because I’ve had a bit of sleep before the phone goes. But I just couldn’t settle last night. Here’s hoping it doesn’t trigger another bad patch of sleep.
 
I slept with a pillow next to me last night. I think it helped. I’ve been struggling with sleeping alone, I feel unsafe during the night. I was very isolated when my abuse was happening. But sleeping in my dad’s room had the problem of waking up disoriented and scared by someone being near me. The pillow is comforting, and doesn’t get confused for someone who took advantage of me.
 
i’m having an extra ton of REM sleep lately for some reason so my nightmares are weird and intense.

last night i had one about CSA (not a direct memory) and woke up feeling puzzled by it but “okay.” talked about it in therapy and had a very intense trauma response as i did. as if it was being processed as trauma itself. weird.
 
A hard night. Pup was wound up like a coiled spring. He was so stressed out from our weird day. He was trembling and couldn’t settle. I forced him to lay next to me in my arms and he perched sphinx-like, kept trying to stand and move, so I held him tight, it was like his muscles were straining against me for hours, and then slowly slowly slowly he gave in and relaxed. My eyeballs feel hot this morning like I’ve been crying. We went for a walk and I wished we could have walked for hours but had to come back and get ready for work.
 
Forgive me if I'm mistaken but I couldn't find anything similar to this listed in the threads.

I thought it would be a really good tool to have. To talk about how you slept last night or any dreams you may have had etc..

Last night my sleep wasn't so interesting but it did strike me. I slept amazingly; I didn't move at all, I woke up in the same position I fell asleep in. Though I cannot remember any dreams. I think my body really needed a rest like that.
As someone w PTSD causing a sleep disorder congrats. If u journal run yesterday back (food, exercise, times dysregulated). You may have stumbled onto a huge victory.
 
OMFG.

One of those… Everyone is dead / waiting to die nightmares. With NOTHING that can be done. Not even choosing death early. >.< Much less surviving. Just pain. And more pain. And more pain. And fear. And guilt. And loss. And remorse. And unsatisfied vengeance.

🤢
 
Odd. My alarm didn’t go off because I set it wrong. I had a weird dream that was an amalgamation of my traumas with a weird plot that was like some Korean drama.

Just weird. I hate even thinking about my dreams at this point. I get stuck in them. Last night was no different. They follow me into daytime and I walk around in a daze with the dream still continuing in my mind. I’ll wake up and the dream will still be going and then I have wake myself up again. It’s like they stick to my mind.
 
I normally sleep pretty well, but the last couple months I've had an increase in disturbing dreams (honestly, I never have bad dreams), and sleeping has been a lot harder. For the last week, my cats have not come in to bed with me, which makes me sad.

Odd, disturbing dreams last night. Woke up very tired.
 
Back
Top