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How Did You Sleep Last Night?

I went to bed late last night 12am. I was nervous about going to sleep last night. Anyway I slept rather well.

I woke up at 8am and that is a good 8 hours sleep. I didn't get up then though as I was sick.
 
Completely exhausted. I've been gone a while now it seems. Hiding from my life maybe. Even though I'm here everyday in my house. No matter what is going on I feel the same. So so tired. Need to find peace.

It doesn't seem there is any hope in that. Life continues on. Depression is totally consuming me.

I just don't know how long I can continue on like this. Each breath is like a knife into my soul. All I want is released from it all. An end to it all.

I'm not dreaming at all. Hardly anything resembling sleep. Suicide is not an option, although I do have the fleeting thought from time to time. Death will have to come to me on it's own terms. Take me, I will welcome it.

No matter who comes for my soul.
 
managed a total of 2 hours then had to get up to teach a spin class for an hour. I am absolutely exhausted. Not a full nights sleep now since end of Nov. Got Drs appointment in 1/2hr, if I don't fall asleep in the surgery whilst waiting to be called through
 
Not much sleep last night. I'm very anxious still, and I see my therapist this afternoon. I've been switching (dissociative) this morning a lot. So, I'm working on staying grounded today. LOL. I am under strict order to not leave the house unless I'm with certain people. No one else is getting even close to opening my door or a window today.
 
Last night I succumbed to exhaustion after 2 am sometime. Woke up feeling like I had been working hard all night. Already tired again. Don't remember any dreams of anything. Woke up a couple of times. Now I'm about to leave my house. Not to work. Haven't handled that well since 1984. Just to get away from it. There is a place I can find peace. Some days.
 

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