How Do You Find The Words For Difficult Topics?

[Tinyflame]

Well, took me out of the frying pan at work (Yay-?) & put me in the fire. :( So much for hope, lol.

I find it increasingly difficult to even want to discuss difficult topics. Maybe that's the 'progress' of acceptance?

 

[rainy_daze]

Are they topics which are pulling your emotions around @Junebug ? Discuss them if and when you want to. Sometimes discussions can't be avoided though :rolleyes: especially around people who maybe don't know how you're feeling.

My emotions are all over the place with people in my life wanting to constantly discuss news stories that are very distressing to me. I would say these were my difficult topics, and eventually I reach my limit on what I can listen to, or discuss. I sometimes think they can't hear me saying how much I don't want to talk about a subject. It's difficult.

:banghead: Maybe not what you're meaning Junebug. I'm not sure I'm understanding your last post entirely. I'm still thinking about ice cream, and the words progress and acceptance. I like these words ;):).

 

[Tinyflame]

Are they topics which are pulling your emotions around @Junebug ? Discuss them if and when you want to. Sometimes discussions can't be avoided though :rolleyes: especially around people who maybe don't know how you're feeling.

I guess they are topics or thoughts or realities that pull my emotions around, but they are really of no relevance to anyone. Nor are there others who care what I feel or don't.

I figure no one can of course do the work for me, so any speech of it (ptsd-related, work-related, or otherwise) is simply not necessary, or whining. Whether anything can ever change or not, or whether I can change it or not, no point talking about it. I have not much hope in changing it, as the harder I try it doesn't much, & I simply don't have the energy to do more. But even that is not something to 'yap' about as it is my own fault or responsibility if I don't or can't.

I feel oddly ridiculous as to why, knowing that, I've spoken up here or IRL at all. Silly. Not sure 'why' or what I thought it could achieve. Other than the times it was 'required'. I guess I give up, though I don't even know 'what' I'm giving up? Perhaps hope things would get better.

Yes, I understand topics I want no part in, particularly at work, wherein I am basically a blank slate others bounce what's on their mind off of.

Thanks @rainy_daze , go have that ice cream. :hug:

 

[rainy_daze]

[I'm settling for crisps instead of ice cream. I'm tired so I hope this post makes sense.]

Speaking up here is a good idea IMHO. There are people here who care about what you feel, *raises hand*, I care. If it wasn't for honest posts and threads like this, I probably wouldn't be as far forward as I am today. Still a long way to go for me perhaps.

I haven't read you as whining. I haven't seen your words as silly, I just see honesty. Speaking up in real life is maybe something you felt you had to do? People deserve to speak up in real life, that includes you.

You're being really hard on yourself.

Junebug :hug: hoping you get that hopeful sparkle back. And find a way not to be a blank slate for others at work. And find a way for you to voice things in real life when you need to, and feel okay about doing that.

 

[Tinyflame]

I guess I don't 'need' to voice them, or something. "Why?", comes to mind. I don't really feel like I have a voice, (at times not even a mind! :( )

But thank you @rainy_daze , :hug: . I can't imagine 'how' such as this thread could help but thank you for saying it as that means the very most.

:hug: :inlove: :hug:

 

[Tanishq]

Dear @Junebug

First off, yes passing away of Robin Williams did affect me. I was very moved and was very lost to see his move. We won't talk about it here as it affects us both. I wanted to let you know, if you were feeling down with those news then you are not alone.

If this thread was fairy tale perfect, we wouldn't reach this far. We would be in some other land. la la la land? :laugh:

Junebug, gently I am telling you we are trying to work out this situation. We are trying to work the words. That says a lot what we are working on. Doesn't it? We mean words, we don't speak. We mean them. We are trying to be ourselves. Thank God, we three(rainy daze,too) are not copy cats. haha.

Of course if others look at this thread, they will find it very different. We are crazily awesome you know. hehe.

Honestly, I am also gaining a lot from this thread. It is helping me to be gentle on myself. Last week I made good progress. I am moving ahead, slowly. Bit by bit. Turtle speed, you know :D

I am so glad that you are not hesitating to speak up here. Which is great kudos for you.

Many hugs to you. My weekend was good and I relaxed a lot. lol. Hope you are well there today and not being hard on yourself. Please flow with that flow you found which is named "Gentle flow". :)

:hug: :hug: :hug: Gentle Hug bouquet for you my friend. Sending Ice cream vibes to you,too. I know rainy daze is trying to make us jealous as she is enjoying her ice cream. ;)

 

[Tanishq]

@rainy_daze I am also noticing your sense of humor is increasing daily. Day by day, you succeed to share some laughter on this forums. Congratulations. Effect of this thread after all.

We will make Junebug giggle. :D

 

[Tanishq]

@Junebug oh yes I remembered somethings. Couple of days I was having hard time what to speak. I found myself helpless and saw that I was trying to speak all at once. lol. If we do this, we may not be able to find words which we want to express.

Does this happen to you? Do you find yourself trying to say all in just one breath? Just sharing a question with you Junebug. :)

 

[Tinyflame]

First off, yes passing away of Robin Williams did affect me. I was very moved and was very lost to see his move. We won't talk about it here as it affects us both. I wanted to let you know, if you were feeling down with those news then you are not alone.

Junebug, gently I am telling you we are trying to work out this situation. We are trying to work the words. That says a lot what we are working on. Doesn't it? We mean words, we don't speak. We mean them. We are trying to be ourselves. Thank God, we three(rainy daze,too) are not copy cats. haha... Of course if others look at this thread, they will find it very different. We are crazily awesome you know. hehe.

.. that flow you found which is named "Gentle flow". :)

Dear @Tanishq , thank you. Yes, RW's death did affect me, I can't really explain in how or what way/ thoughts though. (With 'words', naturally :rolleyes: :( ). Thank you.

Yes, you did make "Junebug giggle". :) :hug: (You are so kind! -If you ever saw a real one a Junebug is the ugliest living thing on Earth. :) )

Thank God if it is a teeny bit helpful. :hug:

Yes what you said & the part I in bold IS what I mean.[Though I personally wish I were more 'unique' like you or @rainy_daze - but that's not how 'uniqueness' works! I think (or feel) I am more "awesomely crazy" than "crazily awesome"! :eek: :laugh: ] But yes, funny, sometimes I read something & others have said the same- eg. "take the gentle route'. They are able to find the words that make sense to others.

@Junebug I was trying to speak all at once. lol. If we do this, we may not be able to find words which we want to express.

Does this happen to you? Do you find yourself trying to say all in just one breath?

Yes, now that you say it (you found the words) I would say yes, very much so, to the above.

(((((((Dear tanishq)))) , (((((((& Rainydaze))))), too. :hug:

 

[rainy_daze]

I can't imagine 'how' such as this thread could help

I spend a lot of time thinking Junebug. There were things discussed in this thread that gave me mini epiphanies [part of self-therapy I guess :wideeyed:]. I also think it's about the connecting to others too [I like the new myPTSD quote "Depression and trauma are disconnective disorders. Reconnect!"]

Your words often make sense to me also. (Families can be hard work, right? Oh, so can colleagues. I hope that gets better for you soon)

It is a good topic ^ for you to have started. Sometimes it's the difficult threads that help yourself and others the most, even if you don't intend it to work out that way. I haven't started a thread in a while, but I know one of the most painful ones shocked me because people said "me too", and that made me feel less like I was crazy as a child, and actually realising I was in pain from what was happening.

I've also been fortunate enough to have had great practical advice from so many people here that have helped in my daily life. People have heard me and that helps more than I have words for. You are included in that Junebug :tup:.

I've ran out of words now :rolleyes::laugh: [I'll go off topic if I keep going].

A :hug: for you and your crazily awesome self Junebug :ninja::).

 

[Tinyflame]

Aw @rainy_daze :hug: , you are just 'awesome' . :) :inlove:

I am glad, yes strange how things here are so similar so many times between so many of us. As you said it doesn't feel quite so :wideeyed: & ::tdown: & :eek: & :alien: then. (Much as I wish it was foreign to others).

I did not see that quote. That is true I suspect. Not easy!

Funny even, what you said about 'painful'. Something I've never really acknowledged but that is an apt word covering so much. Maybe it will help to just 'acknowledge' it, for once? I mean, 'name' it, (as you do with CBT, in the moment). It's never a word that would have come to me.

I have always thought 'difficult topics' were related most to the topic itself, & honesty, but much is the 90%+ underneath, expecting the worst/ past experiences, self-blame etc. (I even feel to blame if I have to deliver bad news that is not of my causing. :( ) It's hard not to minimize or avoid also things that impact on myself, or that I have 'feelings' (justifiable feelings).

Yes I guess most is past experiences, that forms (negative) expectation, triggers. Also, it's good to be careful about trust. But also it's still necessary to do things differently. Eiy. :(

Hope you are well @rainy_daze thank you, xox. :hug: :inlove:

 

[Tinyflame]

Thanks so much @rainy_daze :hug: What you said is so helpful!!

It's hard to explain, but the 'painful(ness)' word- I guess the word leads to acknowledgement (kind of a back door approach, but really a Big step.) Does that make sense, that relating to the word helps admit it, & admitting it (instead of trying to self-deny it), is really helpful (though not entirely sure 'why')?

Hugs for you (it's raining here! :) ). :hug: :inlove: