How Good Are You At Pretending You Don't Have Ptsd?

[Chris vet]

i and so tired of pretending, so tired. I have to pretend to be "normal" at work to support my family. Then I get home and I have continue the act for my family. I am tired. My wife gets mad at me because I am so f*cked up. I hurt my kids, not physically never physically, but I have a hair trigger temper and yell a lot. I can't sleep and when I do it is nothing but nightmares. Oh, and for bonus points, sometimes I scream and bang my head into things in some kind of f*cked up sleep/wake state. Honestly, if it weren't for my 2 and 4 year old I would just put a bullet in my head. I go to the doctors and it is just an endless cycle of interns every three months. I feel like I have trained every goddamn psychiatrist in the US. I am at the bottom of an ocean and can't find a way up for air. That said, I am a regular damn Clark gable when it comes to acting normal from 8 to 5 at work.

 

[Friday]

@Chris vet... Finite capacity for stress? Check! :banghead:

https://www.myptsd.com/threads/the-ptsd-cup-explanation.83659/

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

I am the queen of pretending to not have PTSD. All I do is work and work and work. Other people tell me that they don't believe I am depressed, and other than two or three people, I havent disclosed that diagnosis.

I won't belabor here, since I've got another running thread on how no one believes that I am distressed.

 

[Changing4Best]

Not, I don't think there is a way to do this. One has what one has. Would a diabetic be able to fake not having diabetes? We have a medical condition. It affects us, like it or not. It also affects others, like it or not. That is our life. We have no choice but to accept it.

I have my good days and I have my bad ones. I have several different things that can give me anxiety or panic attacks. They relate to my physical illness (Lyme Disease and not ever again risking being bitten by a tick) and my abuses, which are complex. PTSD is a reality I deal with. It is not something that one can effectively hide, in my opinion.

 

[Sideways]

I may be the only person here who thinks this (eek), but sometimes I find it such a relief to be able to pull off the 'normal' act for a while.

Sure, sometimes it's just plain exhausting and really isolating. But if I'm being completely honest with myself, sometimes it makes things easier. When I'm in class, I'm usually top-notch anxious. But I look normal, act normal and, here's the beautiful part, I get treated normal. There's no gain for me if the whole lecture theatre knew I was on the verge of a meltdown, but it can be nice to just be treated like everyone else for a bit.

Wouldn't recommend living that all day every day, but sometimes the Master of Disguise thing can be a relief...for me...and potentially only for me *dang*

 

[shimmerz]

Anyone else understand?

I pretended all of my life. Then couldn't pretend. Now I am back to the fork in the road but with adult awareness. I feel like I am forced to pretend in order to have any type of quality life again. Just not certain I can do it....

 

[Klo]

It's not that difficult for me to hide things from the strangers or the public at large. In actual closer relationships, it becomes a minefield.

 

[Neverthesame]

There was a time when I used to feel as though I was pretty good at hiding it.

Untill I started reading this thread https://www.myptsd.com/threads/you-know-you-have-ptsd-when.8872/

I found myself saying "Hey, I do that, and that, and that, [several minutes later] and that, and that, and that....

:bored:> Get on with it!

Right, anyways. So I soon realized that there was a surprising amout of batshit wacky behaviors I do, that never assumed were related. To other people I probably look like I've been living in a cookoo clock.