How to cope with therapist abandonment?

[Daph]

I work in a job where people I work with need to be able to contact me directly. I don’t keep their...

See I think the abrupt thing is uncalled for because she is responsible for blurring the lines your T hasnt most likely. So personally I think, even it was a emotional automatic reaction, does not excuse it. To me it like someone throwing a chair and braking a window because they let their anger/emotion take over for something they may be at fault for or upset about. You got to fix the chair and window for an inexcusable reaction is my point

Yeah see I am the opposite. I had too cut off all in working with people to only work hours/ work patients.

I had few taking advantage of my off time even where I lived to knocking on my doors because someone fell at 4am (actually a stroke) just because they saw my uniform. And I had to stop answering my phone, let it go to voicemail, think of what resource may be best and/or refer them something loke health link (talk to RN for
mental/physical issues regarding suggestions for care) via text/ email.
I am very quick to provide a response still.

But where I live we have crisis lines that deal with an vast amount of issues to find the resources needed at the time whether it the need of food/shelter even. Some forget about them or not aware of resources.

So it is hard to say because I know resources are different to areas.

 

[Daph]

See I think the abrupt thing is uncalled for because she is responsible for blurring the lines your T hasn...

I felt selfish and extremely more guilty doing so and still do, but I hit my breaking point. And with discussing it with my T, I felt it was hindering me giving proper care because I was beyond burnt out and could not even start an IV/ draw up a med because I was shaking all the time.

 

[Suzetig]

I think self care is massively important- folk have my number because they really need it, and it’s part of my job to be available. I might get a work call to my personal phone once every 6 weeks or so because people knew only to call in an emergency. Folk don’t contact me unless totally necessary and I’m able to cope with that level of contact.

If I contacted folk to say I was ill and they called me back - even to check I was ok - there would be hell to pay.

The OP phoned because lines had already been blurred but common sense says you don’t phone someone who is in the ER unless you are family or close friends, and if you’re paying someone to see you, they aren’t a close friend.

 

[Daph]

I think self care is massively important- folk have my number because they really need it, and it’s p...

Right.... that is the normal. But patients need a plan B, or C if say you were incapacitated completely to be able to notify them personally or your company ASAP. Which I am sure, you have taken those precautions.

But the therapist made her feel like a close friend in treatment and this made them think it was alright to contact the therapist. And that is my opinion that because of that, I don’t think a therapist has a leg to stand on to give a patient “hell” in that case.

One has to take responsibility for their actions. The patient has in realizing it was wrong now/boundaries and giving her space, but the therapist hasn’t yet.

You do because you have the boundaries.... this is slightly different. And good for you keeping your bondaries and values professional with patients. I am not discussing that...

 

[EveHarrington]

....so because boundaries were blurred before, that’s a reason that they should continue to be blurred?

 

[Daph]

No not what I meant, because boundaries were blurred T has no right to give someone hell. Let it go to voicemail, see if call emergency, and it wasn’t. Therefore, wait until T can control their emotion and properly address boundaries I think would be mature.

 

[Suzetig]

The OP didn’t say the T gave him hell, he said she was abrupt with him - which I think is fair enough if you’re in hospital being phoned by someone who you’d specifically contacted to say you weren’t available.

The T certainly has a case to answer but the OP needs to take responsibility for their part in interactions, and give space where it’s obviously needed. TheT may be the professional but the OP is an adult with the ability to act on their own agency.

I said I would give my work contacts (not patients in my case) hell if they contacted me after being told I wasn’t available. And I would, because “I can’t be here” means “I can’t be here”.

 

[Daph]

The OP didn’t say the T gave him hell, he said she was abrupt with him - which I think is fair enough...

I just used the term hell because you used it. And I have different ideas of politeness....I am Canadian eh and don't hold it against me please. Lol
And it was just my thoughts and we are entitled to own way of thinking @ Suzetig. But I don't know why everybody thinks I or we need to be on the same page?
This is suppose to be a safe place and we both said what we think. So can we agree to disagree.
I have already been really questioning staying here as I feel unsafe on myPTSD for approx a week if not bit more here as of late. When I have finally been able to talk, but that is off topic of the forum.
And I asking if people (@Suzetig) can respect not discussing my opinion on the matter further

 

[Suzetig]

With respect, that isn’t how a discussion board works - I’m not disagreeing with your right to hold your opinion, I’m not actually disagreeing about the Ts boundaries either, and yes it’s a tiny part of the OPs concern and I’m more than happy to let it rest.

As far as feeling safe, this isn’t a safe place and has never claimed to be - the Internet by very definition is unsafe. The strength of the forum is the debate and discussion and challenge that takes place. It might be worth thinking about what you need from the site - we always say to take what’s useful and leave the rest, including differences of opinion.

 

[Stephernovas]

Hi Folks,

It's my first request for feedback. Thank you so much in advance for any thoughts you may have!

I have...

She's human and doesn't feel well. Chances are that she may be struggling to come to terms with whatever is going on for her! I would try to be thankful that she had enough respect to let you know what's going on. For now, I would consider your best interest and poke around for another therapist. Not saying you have to get a new one for sure, but given her age and the fact that she is ill, there is a possibility she may say she is unable to return.