It's all connected in some form or fashion, much more than I ever realized, or even wanted to realize, to be honest. I had been diagnosed with an arm's length list of both physical and mental health issues through the years. Chronic issues I'd been told would mean I'd simply have to learn how to live with taking multiple meds for life to deal with it, and/or be prepared to undergo several surgical procedures to "try" to fix things to ever think about comfortably managing and living the rest of my life.
It wasn't until I totally and drastically changed my entire lifestyle from the inside out (prompted by an ER visit in which I was facing organ removal as the alternative) that I discovered much of each and everything thing I suffered with had been created/worsened/amplified by my daily choices and consumption habits over a span of four decades. None of the docs ever discussed that. Most of the folks I was seeking help from happily indulged in the same choices that were making me mentally and physically ill, (meat, dairy, eggs, gluten, artificial sweeteners/flavors/colors/flavors/etc., caffeine, alcohol), so I didn't find any suggested or supported alternative options in those insurance approved arenas, that's for sure. It was only by the generous grace and kindness of a few "alternative" healers willing to barter that I lucked into finding actual relief that I've been able to sustain for a few years, thus far.
All of the energies I was choosing to drink/eat/breathe/marinate in/clean with/launder with/etc., once I made time to learn about the depths of the energetic exchanges and the road each thing took to get to me, along with the products/chemicals/other foreign to-my-body substances/ingredients had just as much of an effect on my overall well-being as did the supposed genetic influences and such that I felt I was simply too uneducated to ever innerstand it all well enough to "get it", based solely on how I'd been taught to view and think about things. I'd been taught to just hush up and leave those sort of things to the professionals and just let them do their job. I'd also been taught to beLIEve no one would ever market and sell things to us that aren't safe. Beep. Wrong answer.
Once it became even more painfully clear that them doing their job kept making me worse instead of ever making me feel I was making any forward healthy progress, I HAD to look deeper and dive into other alternatives. Their way obviously wasn't helping and only seemed to create even more painful/uncomfortable mental and physical "mysterious" issues needing more of their treatments to cover up the side effects from the last suggested treatment, and so on, and so on.... It felt like an endless vicious cycle that I couldn't escape, no matter how many specialists I visited.
I had been diagnosed with severe IBS, severe fibromyalgia, severe osteoarthritis, severe inflammation, severe nervous stomach, severe insomnia, severe adhd, severe depression, severe anxiety, etc., etc. Pretty much a severe damn life. Most all of those professionals also chose to totally overlook and ignore the multiple traumatic events (reported to them, along with all of my symptoms, in great detail, in writing) I barely lived through from childhood on up, as if none of that would have any bearing on my current state of being.
I was only diagnosed with things they could more easily try to medicate, it seemed, and I was their guinea pig, of sorts. Once I became more consciously aware of every single thing I ingest, absorb, use on my being, and allow within my living spaces, I learned much of my suffering was based on and highly aggravated by things I'd long since been educated and lead to beLIEve were "safe" and "necessary" for my existence. I felt like I'd been punked my entire life. How are these things not being openly and freely taught everywhere? Twighlight zone-like shit is what it felt like, for sure.
I still suffer, as I expect I always will to some degree in this twisted and highly scripted existence, but I can more easily recover and sit with myself just as I am in times of pain, uncertainty, and discomfort, as well as times of joy, awe, and excitement, now that I'm not drowning in the same heavy sea of tox-sick-city that left me feeling incredibly miserable, hopeless, and pretty much bed ridden each day.
I learned there's a fine line between the two and each and every choice I make and thought I think can totally f*ck me up worse or nurture me back to a more comfortable state of health. It's now up to me much more than it's up to the folks I seek for help, and that within itself is a scary damn thought after a lifetime of being told and taught I had very little worth in any arena, much less the cell-ph care arena.
