Well, for me, anxiety is probably my most often felt emotion. For me, it is a feeling of butterflies or uneasiness in my upper abdomen, which can be felt physically there as well as an uneasy feeling in my mind, a kind of (something is about to happen and it is going to be bad) kind of feeling. However, I usually have no clue as to what bad thing is about to happen, it is just an overwhelming idea that something/ anything bad will happen, and it will happen soon.
Anger for me is a feeling of wanting to get even with someone for some wrong doing. I feel like screaming at someone, but often no one is there to scream at, because the offender is long gone from my space, having done the dirty deed to me and then walked off unscathed. I have a very long fuse, so I rarely "fly off the handle" at anyone, usually instead holding it in and just letting it fester like a wound within my heart and soul. If I do get angry openly, which is very rare, I usually yell and scream at the person, telling them in no uncertain terms what they have done to offend me and how it makes me feel. This, however, is done in a high volume of voice, probably with a nasty facial expression to go with it.
Apathy for me is usually just laying around in bed for a week or two, hardly getting up to eat or do anything else. This is deep depression for me, and rarely happens, however, when it does, I can usually move myself to get up these days, knowing that not to do so will just make me feel worse and worse. At its worst, this emotion can lead to suicidal ideation, for which I will get up and call an ambulance and go to the hospital if it lasts for more than 5-10 minutes. I have had one very serious suicide attempt and took 4 months worth of my medicines all at once. I was unconscious in the hospital for over ten days, and when I came to, there was this nurse who asked me why I'd do such a thing to myself and how pretty I was and how could I do such a thing and I wanted to crawl under the bed, she made me feel so bad! Then, of course, was the mandatory stay in the mental hospital after I had recovered well enough physically from taking all that. I ended up having all the problems I had before the suicide attempt, as well as all the new ones it created, like being homeless because my live-in boyfriend of that time had gambled all our rent money away in card games (his go to therapy) and so we were then homeless, for which I had to go out and beg for money in the streets (he had too bad of a temper to be able to do this, having punched in the windshield of a car whose owners had told him to "Get a job." Yes, he was abusive, that was why I had attempted suicide, to get away from HIM!).
Anyway, for anyone considering suicide, it is way over-rated, don't try it!
Grief is usually accompanied by a deep feeling of sadness. Often one is on the verge of tears, or is actually crying. It is a release of negative emotion, though it rarely solves anything, especially if one is using it to make one's abuser feel guilty. Abusers have no heart, so they cannot feel guilty or have compassion for others. They are very self-centered and usually only think of their own desires and wants. The word "Caring" is not in their vocabulary. Hence, grief falls on "deaf" ears when abusers hear or see it.
Contentment is a feeling of inner well being. One might feel it upon realizing something important about one's life and experiences for the first time. For the abused, it is a feeling that probably almost feels foreign when we first encounter it. It is something to strive for in therapy and in life. One can feel it when one has accomplished something one has worked hard for and achieved or gotten.
Hatred is a feeling that one can have for one's enemy or abuser. It is a destructive emotion and eats away at one's inner being with a vengeance. We despise our abusers and we hate folks who abuse others that we hear of. Most likely, when we heard of that rapist that got off with such a short sentence this week, we felt hatred toward him and resentment toward the Judge that gave it to him. Resentment is a lesser form of hatred, to my way of thinking. It is the feeling that this Son of a *itch should have been the one to have suffered at the hands of that rapist and to have understood that a sentence like that would just have added insult to injury to the plaintiff!
These are just some of my thoughts about emotions today, after having identified many of them in my therapy over the years.
Please feel free to add your definitions of the various emotions you have felt both in and out of therapy.
