How's Your Day Been? Each Day is Different, So Make Your Mark Daily

[wildfirewildone]

Ready to take Advice

Wildfire, "IF NOT ME, THEN WHO?" is a great thought, but you will not help anyone if your not atleast 95% yourself, because there is a difference between caring, and actually having to do.

If you can say that you are 95% recovered from your PTSD, then I would highly encourage you to help others with PTSD wildfire. Can you say that honestly?

There is a difference between something like this forum, where in actual fact, the sufferer helps themselves, everyone else in the community just provides their experience and opinions vs. starting a community group or self awareness program, implementing it, putting others livelihoods in your hands to get better, is a huge burden if you still have so many burning issues yourself to get past. What ends up happening, is you try and help someone else, then you go home and crash for 3 days because the stress, anxiety, etc etc all come crashing down upon you.

If you walk away from this forum more than two or three times a year with symptoms, then your not in a position to help others directly with PTSD,

As you say...I honestly can't say that I'm 95% in regards to my PTSD...Just the weekend before last...a set of events came to play that ended with me being carted off to the local ER....which in the time since has resulted in nightmares..flashbacks..jumping at the sounds of sirens & knocks at my door....feelings of terror..bouts of crying...to the point that I could only read the posts and then only if they weren't more than 3 or 4 sentences...I feel time ticking away and I am rather concerned that my life won't count for anything....I feel compelled to push myself farther than my body & mind seem to be ready for....I think maybe this is called MID-LIFE CRISIS??? I know there's not a lot of help and concern for PTSD sufferers in my area...It just tugs at my heartstrings!!! :frown: I will take you advice though and not put myself "out on a limb" as much as it grieves me not to push on to becoming an advocate for this cause....wildfirewildone
PEACE oh...Just wanted to say that the rozerem has helped me to get adequate sleep....I only take every other night though...It takes the edge off to overcome my reticence to go to bed as I get so afraid of nightmares and overly concerned with wondering if tomorrow is going to be a "hell-day" with my PTSD symptoms....:sleep: Tonight is my "off" night which is why I am still awake...Guess I'll just go to bed and lay there shaking til I drop off.....

 

[anthony]

As you say...I honestly can't say that I'm 95% in regards to my PTSD...Just the weekend before last...a set of events came to play that ended with me being carted off to the local ER

That is precisely what I mean. It isn't about saying your not capable of doing something, because you are; it is more about saying, are you capable right now? In twelve months time wildfire, you could have healed yourself enough that you can then dedicate yourself to truly helping others, without the personal torment and symptoms jumping you when you talk with others who are still suffering the worst of PTSD. That alone is something you would need to be capable of handling, like water of a ducks back, so to speak, were you listen, you process, and you understand and provide advice / experience, but you don't take it within yourself and then make it your trauma. If something hits too close to home, often we will absorb some of the effect, hence why the symptom outbreak. You first, then others.

I think maybe this is called MID-LIFE CRISIS???

I think maybe its just called PTSD!!! What you describe wildfire is exactly what PTSD is during its worst, when symptoms are out of control, you don't know where to start, or which symptom to choose to begin trying to recover. The answer to that last bit, is you don't! You start at the trauma, and then the symptoms will dissipate to a lower level, at which time you then begin picking them off one by one and learning to control the residual effects.

I think you need to just give yourself a little you time for a while wildfire. Stay within your safety zones, stay within your safe limits, become a bit more at ease within yourself first, then tackle your trauma.

 

[YoungAndAngry]

Today I expressed my concern about "dealing with this pain forever" to my therapist
so he's referring me to a pain specialist right away...
...they sure have their work cut out for them...

 

[Nam]

YA, have faith, girl. These are pain specialists....although so are we aren't we? Sometimes, though, they can do remarkable things. I hope the best for you..

 

[YoungAndAngry]

Thanks Nam :)

I really do hope they can help

 

[anthony]

Well... today was a bit strung out for me, in that for some reason or another, I was just getting wound up by the end of the day today. I didn't lose it or anything, I just curled up on the lounge this evening and read a book for a while, to unwind a bit. It worked, as I feel much better now.

My mother in law is here at the moment, my teenager is home sick, the little fella is teething, and kerrie-ann is home sick also... so I don't have my usual day with just me and bub. I think all the excessive traffic and noise in the house at once, generally during times when I can just relax with bub, just hasn't been around for the last week or so now.

I believe I am somewhere near frustrated... and getting a bit moody, but also have identified what the issue is for why my symptoms are rising just a little more than normal, being little to nothing.

I prepared myself mentally for having my mother in law here, so that is fine, but didn't really plan on having my oldest son and wife home sick all week... well actually, kerrie has been home nearly a month sick now... so I guess my stress is rising a bit more than usual.

This is definately a good learning curve for me, as I am learning to deal more with on the spot, inpromptu situations, as you can never really prepare yourself for when someone is going to be sick and end up home in my grid square 24/7.

 

[Nam]

Anthony, I hope life calms down a bit for you and things return to normal. Maybe it's all the women in the house? Hehehehe, just kidding!

Vacation was great. Spent too much money, but had a good time. Hub and I are closer too. Coming back home is hard though. I didn't want the laundry, the work needed to be done on the house, and my hub gone to work everyday, leaving me with tyrants. I was grouchy one day, and now I'm okay. I still have tons to do. So I need to get off my bum and computer and get going!

I hope that all of you are doing well....

 

[anthony]

Great stuff Nam... and glad you had a really good break.

I think people will begin to see the positives they have educated themselves with from taking a holiday, in that you will start noticing things that you do that used to cause you distress. When your actively talking about your situation, your past and traumas, you go take a break for a while, then things just hit you, that suddenly your beginning to feel better for it, and there is more to life when PTSD isn't as bad.

Anyway... I am much better this morning. Yer Nam... it could be all the extra female presence... but I think its just the feeling that I am being crowed all day, instead of just me and bub. I look at it pretty positively, and that these aspects that do test me, only make me stronger, as I analyse them as they appear, as I begin to feel a bit funny over my surroundings, and work out why.

The feelings have passed now... but I definately think it was more like feeling crowded, being one of my many issues, and crowded in my own home... my safe zone, I think that was the key to it.

I am glad you getting up and about, and not tied to the computer... great stuff.

 

[Nam]

Great day today. I painted, pulled up a floor...nothing like good, honest work. I had a high school friend over for supper tonight and she is probably the only friend that I can talk freely about being in therapy for ptsd. I never go into detail why I have it, but she does know the basics. She was in the Army and knows quite a bit about PTSD and it's treatments. She also recommends EMDR. I found it comforting that I could just be myself....even if it isn't perfect.

 

[anthony]

That is great Nam... really good that you have social interaction and a friend who you can just talk with about anything, including your PTSD.

 

[purdyamos]

Hello everyone

I'm glad you had a good holiday, NAM, and it's nice to hear that you and your husband got closer. It sounds like you had a good day just now too. It's so wonderful to be able to relax with someone and be able to feel comfortable just being yourself - I think it's something many people have difficulty with. It sounds so simple doesn't it? Yet we're almost surprised when other people actually think we're OK as we are!

I've come up out of my recent dip. I had a friend who disappeared and it set off a lot of abandonment issues and I set off on another round of rage and withdrawal and depression etc. But he's back. He's just been incredibly busy with a career surge. We had a very long and open chat about deeply personal things (though I'm not talking romance here, he's got his own issues to deal with). He liked my skills of perception - learnt through hypersensitivity as discussed on another thread. I'm very happy that I have a friend who fits a certain niche - I can't think of amyone I could have had that conversation with, so I feel like a little niche in my life has been occupied. I felt bereft when I thought he'd bogged off. I just assumed I'd been rejected. Classic automatic thought! So I've moved on a little in terms of growth and confidence.

I wish everyone well and hope things are moving onwards and upwards. :smile:

 

[anthony]

That is exceptional Purdy... that damn "negative thinking style" is a tough one to crack, because even without PTSD, the human mind determines the worst first, then realism second. Well done on your growth, and that things have worked out for you... excellent news.