isGood Morning,
I am going through what you are going through, so know that you are not alone. My wife and I have been married for 37 years. Two years ago, Drs. found an abnormality in one of my wife's breasts. Her mother and sister had breast cancer. She immediately, Drs. orders, ceased taking her Hormone Replacement Therapy meds, and had a double radical mastectomy. She had childhood sexual abuse from her sister that lasted for years. She was diagnosed with depression, then diagnosed with Manic/Depression, Bi-polar disorder, then diagnosed with PTSD. We have four wonderful sons with the oldest three married to Wonderful wives and eight grandchildren.
One year ago, my wife committed adultery with her brothers' friend and texted and talked with him extensively and was with the other man on numerous times. My wife left me due to the counsel of a counselor that only listened to her side.
I hung in there and kept praying and seeking God and stayed grounded with men that prayed for our marriage. I was able to get my wife to agree to go through extensive counseling with me for an intense week of over 25 hours of counseling as a couple. We were counseled by a couple that had extensive experience, education, and were grounded in Christian Faith. The common theme was:
1. Never, Never, Never give up.
2. Don't look at the past...you are not going there
3. To me--Love your wife and yourself as Christ Loved the Church
It has been impossible for me, however, with Christian men praying for me, with God, With Jesus, and with the Holy Spirit, I just barely was able to make it on this journey without giving up...however the journey is one day at a time.
My wife, even though she is the one that committed adultery, blames me for everything. To answer your question, No I never had sex with another woman, or man, and I have remained faithful to her, our marriage and God, only by His Grace and Mercy. The only thing I could do was to really draw near to God and focus on my issues. Everyone has areas to draw closer to God. I also prayed and prayed. This has not been easy and my heart goes out to you!! Don't give up, my brother!!
To really answer your question, Yes it will probably get worse. Never give up! As far as seeking and receiving a diagnosis, for your sake, get a journal and write down all the symptoms that your wife exhibits. Please answer this question for yourself, "Does it really matter what category a Doctor would state as your wife's diagnosis?" For example, my wife has either severe depression, bi-polar/Manic-Depression, PTSD, an obsessive compulsive disorder or a severe reaction to withdrawal from Hormone Replacement Therepy, BUT the bottom line is it hurts me, and it truely hurts her heart, mind, soul, spirit and the condition hurts our marriage.
We also both went through spiritual deliverance from spiritual issues with our Christian Counselor and his wife. By the way, not only were the Christian Couple that we counseled with Christians and spiritual warriors, he was an educated my with a PHd in counseling from a secular university, and education in a Christian environment also.
No you do not just wait. You pursue God with all your heart, mind and soul, everyday. When You fall, you get up and look at each day as an opportunity to love your unloving, presently distant wife.
