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Hypervigilance- is yours degrees of constant?

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Recovery4Me

MyPTSD Pro
In the silence, between my listings of gratitude, prayers, duties, avoidance, walking meditation, productive diversions...my teeth are clenched, my muscles are coiled and my rumination revs. I am battle ready and coiled at night trying to fall asleep.
I have increased my exercise which is great for my dog until I now walk about or over 3 miles everyday. I am mostly exhausted with my regime as I am a senior, however, there is not a relative peace prior to nighttime attempt for sleep. I know this is old news for most members but I was wondering-

is your hypervigilance just various degrees too?
And has anyone calmed it down without meds to be able to drift into a peaceful sleep?

Thanks for any thoughts...just feeling inept.
 
There is always an intruder lurking in my mind before bedtime... I meditate him away, pray him away, and sometimes he still is there. I do the best I can to meditate it all away and soothe myself. I regularly talk in therapy about it all. Its hard but hopefully it will continue to get better.
 
Hi recocery4me,
It makes perfect sense that you feel this way. I usually feel the hypervigalance in my jaw, shoulders, heart rate and how deep I'm able to breath. There are things that occasionally help me but they don't always work. Namely, yoga with a focus on connecting with how each muscle group feels and that focus on deepening breathing. Yoga with adrienes videos are good for this purpose, I think she also has a video specific to ptsd. Other than that being in water REALLY without fail relaxeds my body especially if it's the sea side, but pools also work. Unfortunately its not something I have frequent access to. Other than that , weed helps but I try to limit my use to a couple of times a month. I've been meaning to try CBD oil and see if that works. Hope you're able to find something that works for you.
 
Hope you're able to find something that works for you.

Thanks that was very generous of your time as well as kind. I will consider adding some yoga perhaps but weed is out for me while I have a rambunctious puppy lol. Welcome to the board btw.

@Freida ... you always manage to make me laugh while being systematically helpful. Thanks!
I don’t know why I am sometimes in denial of this IS what PTSD is like at times. When it gears up, I just want out and forget sometimes to just ride it out. Could be the vampire look I start to acquire. ??
 
It used to be always there but at this point I rarely feel it. I'm grateful every day that I have gotten to a place where I genuinely feel relaxed and safe. I still have racing thoughts at bedtime and sometimes it is hard to sleep but mostly I do pretty well. For many years I didn't believe this was possible for me.
 
Yes it's much less. It's degrees still, but the biggest change is my seeing where it's coming from. Me mostly. That's not what is really going on, that's just me trying to fit it into a re enactment. My perception, my seeing danger when there is none. That is probably not a great explanation. I'm anxious still, but I'm isolated so, it's not fight or flight. The more i let go of that the better I feel. That's not a great way to say that either because it implies I could always have "just done it."

That's not true, it took a long time.
 
I'll be honest, I am on medication. However I was on higher dose for a while and I am not on lower dose for a while and still doing great. Medication has been only one element though, I've been doing therapy, yoga, journaling, ballet(helps for passion, facing physical sensitivity, socialising and other ways) and many other things. So I have gotten to a point where I'm very happy and stable a lot of the time and a lot of my hypersensitivity is just not there most of the time. In the past couple of months I noticed new positive changes, less awareness towards people around me on the bus, which for me is big.

But that is during the day. During the night I still need to take sleep meds and watch or read something for a while to fall asleep. I used to need to take 1 pill and I'm down to half now. But if I take nothing, it takes me hours to fall asleep, I keep waking up, having unsettling dreams and then missing all my alarms, which is just something I can't keep up doing if I want to keep normal regular days and having income. My hopes are that as I get better I will improve in this area as well. Meanwhile during the day I am a lot better than I used to be, with some off days. Today is an off day but I'm trying to accept those and just adapt to doing the best I can in the rest of the time and accepting that sometimes I'll just have what I call a flare day.(well, having had flare weeks or months before, day is progress- but basically a day when I'm more anxious or panicy, everything gets to me more and I'm all touchy and hypervigilant to everything and any change in my plan or routine sends me on a spiral or freezing...just, days when things just get bad fast and I need to concentrate on getting through).
 
You are not alone.

Thank you for that sentimentality. That was very kind.

For many years I didn't believe this was possible for me.

So good to hear that you have journeyed into incremental success! Thank you for sharing.

That's not a great way to say that either because it implies I could always have "just done it."

I understood what you meant. Hard isn’t it at times to convey the nuances of our neuro-firing patterns lol?
I found you hit many points for me dead on, so thank you for your effort-sincerely. As well, so good to hear that you are moving forward. ?

My hopes are that as I get better I will improve in this area as well.

I thank you for the well written offer. I am impressed with the lengths of inner reflection you have offered to show your awareness of which part is working towards the whole. I wish you well on your journey to healing.
 
It comes in degrees, yes. Years ago I noticed the clenched jaw. Also the tense shoulders. I did work on those with my T for a long time, so it is not as bad now. I wonder one thing now though, Is the fact that I am highly observant an asset or a liability? Seems to me that being super aware of my surroundings at times can be good. I agree though, if it interferes with sleep, it sucks.
 
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