I totally understand this. This is my first post but have been reading for several months, was just afraid to write.
I've been struggling with PTSD for almost 30 years. Have worked low paying jobs because it's all I can do. Then started custom framing, had my own gallery and it was perfect, I could take my dog, if I was late because I went a night without sleep it wasn't a big deal, if I had to close for a half an hour to regroup I just put a note on my door. Then the economy tanked and I lost my business, my partner was ill and was going for disability, the financial burden was on me.
Then I had to find a job in the "real world" and it's made everything worse. So I'm at a industrial laundry facility that is loud, every noise makes me cringe and at times hit the floor. Every day I don't know how I'm going to make it, but I need it to survive. I'm 47 now, I don't have hope that I can better my circumstances, my life is always going to be a struggle.
I wish I had answers for you, but your post moved me to reply to say you aren't alone. I understand.