Sufferer ..i Can't Think Of A Title.

[Disgruntledgrunt1577]

I'm a new member here. In case you couldn't tell. I've been in the U.S. Army for three years now, since I was 18. I've served two combat deployments, and I never thought I'd be on a website talking about it.
Making this account I felt stupid, and still do.
I'm a trained instrument of war, not some pansy lying on a psychologists couch.
But the fact of the matter is that I am drastically different now than I was, in mostly negative ways. And I've never talked about it, or really tried to give it any more thought than beyond the usual, it's a deployment, it's to be expected.
But here's too it.
Whatever this venture may become.

 

[Intrepid]

Welcome to the forum!

I like your title.

 

[Disgruntledgrunt1577]

Lol, thanks. I figured I'd be honest.

 

[Sweetpea76]

Welcome!

 

[StarChild]

Hi @Disgruntledgrunt1577, an welcome to the forum! Since you're a soldier, you maybe also want to check out our MycombatPTSD.com sister site:
https://www.myptsd.com/threads/mycombatptsd-com-combat-veteran-only-website.46406/

So this link is not meant to chase you off, but to give you the opportunity, to check out, on which site you feel more comfortable / understood, okay? All the best!

 

[Disgruntledgrunt1577]

Will do, I'm new to this stuff, so I'll probably try to just spread some roots here. Thanks!

 

[Friday]

Cheers. SemperFi. & Welcome aboard. Bit of a roller coaster, but at least it ain't dull ;)

 

[Disgruntledgrunt1577]

Semper Fi? I believe it's more along the lines of "Sua Sponte".
Just kidding. Always had a good amount of respect for Jarheads.
Thanks, we'll see how it goes.

 

[intothelight]

Welcome and I hope you find this site helpful.

 

[Ocean5]

Welcome aboard - new here in past year also, and found it very helpful. What I like is you can say things here, and people actually get it - understand. Reading their older post - you understand and feel less alone (or misunderstood.)

Making this account I felt stupid

I'd say brave & smart.

lying on a psychologists couch

Sorry, but this made me laugh (at myself.)

I always avoided therapist, or psychiatrist, not knowing what to expect. Plus just not wanting to talk about things - let the past be the past. I will live in present moment and future.

But it catches up to you one day with certain life events, or triggers.....until it becomes what in the hell has happen to me (if not on forum I'd have other language to describe.)

The laughing part is at myself...couches not like on TV. A living room couch for sitting, and asked to take a seat. Never asked, or expected, to actually lay down - that would not happen with me (I would have walked out.) I think that's more tv, and sure the option helps some people. Just not an option for me. I'm still new to all this - so my limited experience past year.

I'm looking into therapy by phone so it's less stressful, and time consuming if that helps any.

 

[Disgruntledgrunt1577]

I don't want therapy like that. I don't want a face to face interaction with a "trained professional" or even a phone call. If I need to confess something and get it off my chest I'll do it here. It's incredibly strange to me to be here though, as I said, because I'm acknowledging that something is wrong and I don't like that. So like you I am new to this, but I'm trying my best. Maybe if what I have to say can help someone else I can find a purpose for it, besides just an outlet to complain about the way I feel.
Thanks for what you said though, I'm glad you have found some respite here.

 

[Ronin]

Welcome brother.

Glad you made it out.

I'm a trained instrument of war, not some pansy lying on a psychologists couch.

If it helps, I been told talking about things or just working on them, sans the talking, is a strength on its own, and something about a warrior needing that one, too. :)