I Dont Understand What T Is Trying To Tell Me Here...

[pennypencil]

In has happened in last 2 sessions.

One session i told him about relationship with my sister, how we do not talk .
T mentions his sisters and how they talk often. he just brings it up in conversation.

next session, i told him my friend is being so unreasonable and i am not happy about it. i went on about it for 30 mins. He listened and agreed. then he says if this scenario happened to him(he narrated it to me, and it was different than mine), he would react in opposite manner.

??????????????

i am just left confused. is this somehow supposed to help me...???
i just dont understand.

am i missing something here?
i felt uneasy at the time, but i couldnt tell him that hey..what u r saying is completely different...and what does that have to do with what i am telling you right now.
or i agree with what you are saying, but it doesnt apply here..

should i just ignore it...and be cautious of what he tells me..he doesnt have to agree with everything i tell him..but i am wondering if he tells all his clients...that your siblings dont talk to you..but hey my siblings call and visit all the time.

hmmm...okay good to know T? what am i supposed to do with this info?

 

[Deleted member 29920]

That's very invalidating of him, and you should maybe tell him that or find another T

 

[digger]

i am just left confused. is this somehow supposed to help me...???
i just dont understand.

am i missing something here?
i felt uneasy at the time, but i couldnt tell him that hey..what u r saying is completely different...and what does that have to do with what i am telling you right now.
or i agree with what you are saying, but it doesnt apply here..

I understand not feeling able to say anything at the time, but it would be a really useful thing to take back to your next session and have a conversation about. Is that something you think you might do?

 

[watundah]

Eck. This is the kind of stuff that can be annoying about regular people ("let's not talk about you, let's talk about me."), not acceptable w a T. I love it when my T shares a story because I get to know her better but not in a "top this" fashion. He is not giving you good service. If it is too hard to discuss, present it in writing. They are supposed to keep growing as well. ;-)

 

[Muted]

Probably mind games. T's love to play mind games...

 

[sun seeker]

Do you know how much experience he has? From the examples you give, it sounds possible that he is new at this and still working out some of his own issues in your sessions rather than focusing on you. It happens, but that means it's time for the therapist to schedule some therapy time of their own to work on their stuff that's getting in the way.

I suppose it's possible that he thinks he is helping, but personally I don't see how that could be helpful! I would definitely bring it up.

 

[pennypencil]

He has about 9 years experience.

it could be mind games.

i can talk to him about it in next session, but i dont want him to think less of me after bringing this up.
that i am giving him a hard time.

it just seems like he said those things intentionally , fully aware how invaliding it would be to me.
but why?

to have me speak up? or to get me to leave?

 

[Muttly]

If he is a good T, he is not going to think less of you for bringing it up. In fact, if he is a good t, he would want you to bring it up. How else can he understand you? He's not a mind reader, so he needs you to give him feedback.

It's also totally ok to ask him why he brought it up and the reasons you've though of. sometimes, as hard as that is, it's when you get the most out of a session.