I Feel like my boss is trying to intimidate me

[SweetAsACoyote]

Update to my last post: I took two weeks off to get mental health treatment.
My husband went into get my checks on Saturday, and the owner/boss got in his personal space (like within a foot of his face) and was very hostile towards him. Boss handed him the checks but said "She's not being transparent enough with me, I don't know when she's coming back. I'm going to have to withhold those checks" and then husband said "I'm pretty sure that's not how that works, she worked for this money" and boss just repeated himself about transparency, etc, my husband turned and boss just goes "get out! Yeah, get out!!".
My workforce counselor talked to him, and he was totally polite and sweet to her.
Now my boss wants to have a one on one meeting with me in person, without my job counselor, even though she's supposed to be there whenever I talk to my managers, and I'm freaking out. She (counselor) said I could try and talk to him on the phone with her and my husband there (definitely needed), but idk if he'll go for it. I'm about to be on totally new meds too so I'm not sure how I'll be feeling, or if I'll even be thinking clearly enough to talk to him, especially not in person. He wanted to meet in person today or tomorrow (NOPE).

I feel like he wanted to meet one on one to intimidate me, because he knows I'm terrified of him.. but I could just be "mind reading" I guess

 

[Ronin]

I'd absolutely trust both your instincts and reading of the situation on this - health issues are one thing, being bullied at work place quite other.

I would tell the workforce counselor all you said about how he treated your husband, you in the presence of your husband acting on your behalf and in your best interest, and you when separated from him.

And no, the boss doesn't *get to* talk to you isolated, like that.

Either you come in a regular, safe for you fashion, with people making sure he doesn't treat you menacingly, or the meeting is off, and you are well within your rights to report his asshole behavior to whoever corporate *and* legal defense you find necessary for your protection.

 

[SweetAsACoyote]

I'd absolutely trust both your instincts and reading of the situation on this - health issues are one thing, being bullied at work place quite other.

I would tell the workforce counselor all you said about how he treated your husband, you in the presence of your husband acting on your behalf and in your best interest, and you when separated from him.

And no, the boss doesn't *get to* talk to you isolated, like that.

Either you come in a regular, safe for you fashion, with people making sure he doesn't treat you menacingly, or the meeting is off, and you are well within your rights to report his asshole behavior to whoever corporate *and* legal defense you find necessary for your protection.

Thank you very much! I appreciate you input and I definitely will talk to my counselor ?

 

[hithere]

I'm going to say trust yourself on this. I don't know where you live but in the USA we have privacy laws concerning our health which includes mental health, and we also have Americans with Disabilities Act ... hang in there, that is awful to have such an A-hole for a boss under any circumstance, let alone trying to deal with one when symptoms are flaring.

 

[SweetAsACoyote]

I'm going to say trust yourself on this. I don't know where you live but in the USA we have privacy laws concerning our health which includes mental health, and we also have Americans with Disabilities Act ... hang in there, that is awful to have such an A-hole for a boss under any circumstance, let alone trying to deal with one when symptoms are flaring.

Thank you!! I'm doing my best to hang on, and I *am* getting treatment at least! It's just a matter of deciding what I want at this point

 

[Friday]

Some people contract with disability services specifically to GET vulnerable people who are either a) desperate or b) won’t be believed, or c) both... because they can’t maintain a workforce otherwise (as anyone else would quit). These people are typical abusers, who are charming to authority, and hell to anyone else.

You now have your husband’s affidavit that is guy is an asshole who tried to illegally hold your checks, as well as your own experience... so I would suggest recording the meeting. Most states won’t admit such a recording in court, but you would have evidence of how you -and other clients being sent to him- are being treated for your workforce counselor. Which should be more than enough to get you a new job through them.

Most phones have an app (voice notes, or similar) that will record for up to about 10-15 hours at a go (essentially until the battery turns the phone off). That’s long enough for you to turn it on, click the phone dark, stick it in your pocket, and record every shift you work & every interaction with your boss. If he’s an asshole? It won’t be a he said, she said.

Worst case scenario, you get proof, and a new job.
Best case scenario, the Asshole was having a bad month, and has turned things around and will be nice from now on.

Win/win.

 

[SweetAsACoyote]

Some people contract with disability services specifically to GET vulnerable people who are either a) desperate or b) won’t be believed, or c) both... because they can’t maintain a workforce otherwise (as anyone else would quit). These people are typical abusers, who are charming to authority, and hell to anyone else.

You now have your husband’s affidavit that is guy is an asshole who tried to illegally hold your checks, as well as your own experience... so I would suggest recording the meeting. Most states won’t admit such a recording in court, but you would have evidence of how you -and other clients being sent to him- are being treated for your workforce counselor. Which should be more than enough to get you a new job through them.

Most phones have an app (voice notes, or similar) that will record for up to about 10-15 hours at a go (essentially until the battery turns the phone off). That’s long enough for you to turn it on, click the phone dark, stick it in your pocket, and record every shift you work & every interaction with your boss. If he’s an asshole? It won’t be a he said, she said.

Worst case scenario, you get proof, and a new job.
Best case scenario, the Asshole was having a bad month, and has turned things around and will be nice from now on.

Win/win.

Thank you so much! I thought of doing this, but I was unsure if it'd be stupid idea or not. I appreciate your input!