Sufferer I Feel So Alone - Delayed Onset Ptsd

[StillSad]

I was diagnosed with PTSD about 10 years ago - delayed onset - due to sexual abuse by a doctor when I was a teenager. I have also been diagnosed with PTSD from childhood emotional abuse and neglect and I have struggled with depression since I was about 12.

What doesn't make sense is that there are parts of my life that are so okay and parts of me that seem to function quite well, and parts of me that are just so broken and terribly sad. I hope that some of you can help me and some of you might know if any of this happens to other people with PTSD.

I don't know anyone else who has struggles like mine and I feel very much alone because I am emotionally different from my friends and even though they care they don't really understand. My husband is kind and he loves me but he doesn't know what to do to help me.

And it doesn't make sense to me that I still carry so much sadness inside of me after all these years of being away from the people who hurt me. :think:

Thank you for reading this

StillSad

 

[Deleted member 541]

Hi Still,

Welcome to the forum. There is a ton of info here and just as many caring people.

Welcome again.

 

[hollyberry]

Hi stillsad, I know how you are feeling. My ptsd is from my childhood too, hang in there it does get better. Holly

 

[Deleted member 93]

Welcome to the forum!

 

[anthony]

Hi stillsad, welcome to the forum. Abuse of any type is not optimal, though it has happened and now you must learn how to heal it and then manage yourself. Your going in the right direction already just be actively seeking help.... well done.

 

[sunnydaze]

still sad

So sorry you are so sad, I can relate. I have been like this for 50 years since I was 5. I am hoping you and the rest of uscan work through our sorrows
sunnydaze

 

[NotDepressed]

You aren't alone. Your story is so similar to mine, it almost seems too familiar. If it helps, with the exception of a few difficult months last year, I'm doing well-- but haven't ruled out the possibility of problems down the road. The fact that you were diagnosed ten years ago and are still having anxiety makes me anxious/concerned/sad.

 

[Lucky Laser]

I've been struggling a long time too, (undiagnosed though) just exploring what might be wrong. It seems crazy that something that happened over 10 years ago would still affect me... but it does! So I can totally understand that. Like you, certain parts of my life seem perfectly normal but other parts of it not.

Anyway, I'd say you're definitely not alone.

 

[shadowmedic]

welcome stillsad,
i'm sorry you feel the way that you do. in some respects, i can relate to what you say when it seems like parts of your life work and others don't. i feel sometimes as if there are certain parts of my life that are like a person walking down a deserted, dark and lonely street. but the important thing to remember is that (1) you are not alone and (2) this is an invaluable source of info to get things sorted out. please take a look around at some of the reference materials and read some of the people's stories of things they have dealt with. good luck with everything. respectfully, SM

 

[Mystery]

I was diagnosed with PTSD about 10 years ago - delayed onset - due to sexual abuse by a doctor when I was a teenager. I have also been diagnosed with PTSD from childhood emotional abuse and neglect and I have struggled with depression since I was about 12.

Hi StillSad, I was sexually assaulted by a doctor in my early twenties who was never made accountable for his actions. It's a very difficult thing to deal with because people find it extremely hard to believe. Then there is the problem of having to go to the doctor or dentist and how that is an overwhelming thing to do, which makes us neglect our health. It's really important to get help for this stuff as early as you can in life. I'm 45 now and neglected to do the type of therapy I should have for most of my life. Mainly because I couldn't afford it. Now at 45 I'm worse than ever, because of this. I didn't have a pap smear for 20 years and when I did it was horrific and I had to be sedated in order to do it and it took me a week to get over it.

The parts you speak of are sometimes called Ego States. Yes that does happen to lots of people, it definitely has to me. There are some good articles and threads on this site that might help you understand more about yourself. It's great you have a supportive and understanding husband, he deserves support too. :)

 

[anthony]

Hi StillSad, I was sexually assaulted by a doctor in my early twenties who was never made accountable for his actions.

This thread was posted in 2008.