I hate feeling needy, 2x a week appointments?

[loui50]

Ok, I see t 1 time a week. Last week I had 2 issues I needed to talk about. We talked about one and ran out of time. She said we would talk about the other this week, which is fine. But...I need to talk about both again and know we will run out of time again. Is it wrong or needy to ask to see her 2x a week for a few weeks?

My issues are very different. 2 different traumas. 1 is sexual abuse. We have been talking about that one for several weeks, maybe a month. But the anniversary of one of my other traumas was last week and now that shit is all stired up again. I worked through a devastating cat 3 hurricane. So now I have all this stuff stired up in my head that I need to talk about and an hour isnt enough time!! What would you do? I have tried to send and email all week to her just for support and I havent been able to send it because I feel like a burden and needy.

 

[somerandomguy]

It is absolutely not wrong to ask for twice a week going forward. I agree that 50 minutes is simply not enough time for a lot of us, and I wouldn't put the "for the next few weeks" disclaimer on it, either. Ask to see her twice a week. If you feel like you don't need twice a week in the future, you can drop one of the appointments. It's always easier to drop an appointment than add one.

I go twice a week and it is absolutely right for me. I couldn't cover everything I needed to cover just seeing her once per week. I felt like I was constantly catching her up and falling behind. I was very fortunate that she had an extra slot. Don't be surprised if it takes your T a few weeks to clear one - which is another good reason to ask right away.

 

[FauxLiz]

Is it wrong or needy to ask to see her 2x a week for a few weeks?

I saw my last therapist 2x a week for almost 4 years. I would still be doing so if I hadn't moved and we had to end our sessions. If and when I get to a point where I am doing the hard work with a new therapist I will go back to 2x a week because I still need help keeping my brain from going to hell so quickly.

 

[Friday]

What would you do?

LMFAO... since I just emailed my therapist last month cancelling all my appointments during hurricane season (because I’m FINE, dammit. Also 911 is no big deal to me since the 2people I care about made it out f*ck the rest of it, so give that appointment to someone who needs it, yeah? And maybe go ahead and block out 10Nov & Veterans Day for someone else, too, while you’re at it, & hell youre gone over xmas, so I’ll see you in January, maybe?) ...cough... Here’s what I do when I’m being smart:

When I’m working through serious shit, in a serious way, (instead of avoiding like a moherf*cker or dabbling), my appointments are double sessions, two or three times a week.

Yeah. ^THAT^ Is my kicking ass and taking names.

It’s not about being needy, for me, it about whether I’m actually working or not.

 

[sunshineandmoonshine]

I am so blessed to have a T who can schedule 90 minute blocks. Have you asked if yours can?

 

[Freida]

I go twice a week --- one day to the T who does EMDR and later in the week to the T who helps me get past whatever comes up after emdr. I don't think there's a "set" amount of times that work. Whatever ya need - there ya go.

 

[barefoot]

Not needy - ask for what you think will help you.

When I stared seeing my T four years ago, I did 1 x 60 min session a week. After a few months I had a major stressor/breakdown and took a few months of work. At that point I upped my therapy to 2 x a week - one of those sessions was 60 mins and the other was 120 mins. That pattern helped us to build relationship and cover more ground.

When the crisis was averted I then dropped back to 1 x 120 min session a week, then 1 x 90 min then 1 x 60 min session a week.

For the last 18 months I’ve been doing 1 x 60 mins fortnightly - mainly due to financial reasons - with the odd extra session thrown in on the alternate “off weeks” if I have a lot more going on, want to build a bit more momentum or need a bit more support.

I’ve recently had a very sudden and unexpected close family bereavement so have been having weekly 120 min sessions to help me through this very tough time.

I struggle with feeling needy too though have got better with that over time in terms of feeling that way in relation to my therapist.

We each potentially have different needs at different times.

Ask for an extra session or for a longer session and, if she has the availability to accommodate you I’m sure that she will. And she absolutely won’t think you’re being needy.

 

[Teamwork]

All I can say is you sound so fortunate, you who have said you are getting weekly to twice weekly. I can only see mine every two weeks! And it’s brutal. If it’s available go for it.

 

[blackemerald1]

I havent been able to send it because I feel like a burden and needy.

Send the email loui :hug:

No you are not being a burden or needy you are seeking treatment and it is sensible to get it.

 

[Missycat]

@loui50 you are not a burden or needy. Send the email and ask your t about twice weekly sessions or maybe a double session. I absolutely understand how hard it is and that you feel needy - but you arent being needy and there is nothing wrong with you asking for something .. honest. You wont know what she will say until you ask.
I was nervous when i felt i needed to see my t again in the week so i messaged her and we sorted an appointment , my t told me she was pleased that i had done that as it demonstrated that i was considering my needs for a change .
I hope you get something sorted hun x

 

[grit]

I hear two things here. One is seeing your therapist a bit longer times or more often and the other is your feelings of burden on others.
Both valid and true for you. I think it is OK to ask for more sessions or longer times why not? you feel you need them. The other feeling of burden, do not dismiss and minimise, try to hold and see what comes out. It is very common feeling for those who have childhood trauma where they were made to feel a burden.

 

[loui50]

Thanks everyone. I hate this feeling of just being a burden on people. But I really need to talk and only t has the information i need. I have questions about my dissociation that i really need answers to. I talk to my husband about everything, but he isnt a professional. He listens and encourages but he doesn't have the answers. I'm going to somehow get the courage to ask. What's the worst that happens...she says no. But I dont think she will say no because I've seen her 2x a week before.

I feel like I'm so overwhelmed and I'm starting a downward spiral that I want to stop before it gets out of hand. I don't want to get to the point of self injury or suicidal thoughts again!!