I Realize That I

[Teasel]

Joke self depracatinhgly too much for my liking. It seems to be on automatic. I would like to change that.

 

[ladee]

I realize that I share a lot here, to give my own healing journey meaning. To remind myself, it wasn't all for nothing.

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

I realize that I should never have purchased a participant card for the Y, knowing full well how intense the chemical camouflage of everyone else's idea of "good hygiene" can easily take me down. The part of me that still hopes for more interactions in perceived healthy spaces talked the more rational side of me into it.

I guess I'm destined to be a lifetime student of you tube university and good old fashioned books and shit rather than other humans, especially within closed spaces where I can't give my olfactory senses a break from the endocrine/health disrupting stank. Meanwhile, convincing myself it's in my best interest to not attend rather than kicking myself in the ass for yet another thing I've attempted and can't follow through with is the tricky part. We can do this, brain. We surely have had enough practice.

 

[8888]

I realize I don't have as many friends as I thought?

 

[Muttly]

I have gone back to "chaotic eating' and I don't think it's eating disorder. I think it's more functional but I should probably check in with my insiders and see what's going on.

 

[EveHarrington]

.....really do have family members who care about me!

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

I realize that I spent a huge part of my life trying at all costs to avoid going to the perceived place all the adults around me called hell...so much so that I was unable to clearly see that hell was actually being actively created all around me, in real time, in the present, mostly by many of those same adults who were constantly preaching at me, convincing me of my lack of worth, and trying like hell to guilt me into their preferred traditional ways.

To be honest, I can't imagine a place anymore less forgiving, less mindful, less compassionate, less nurturing, less kind, and less welcoming than the current hell on earth that so many are still actively, often blindly, creating and living in...right here, right now. I remain endlessly fascinated and continually perplexed by all the perceived takes on the past vs. the present vs. the future.

It's now o'clock, wherever we are, be it in a perceived hell or be it in a perceived paradise. May we each have many chances to experience, recognize, and create much more of the latter for ourselves and others every chance we get. Our in-vironment depends on it, it seems.

 

[Rani G2]

...Simpleminded and stupid

 

[intothelight]

I realize that I can make the changes and do the things that I want to do, just a little slower than I use to but that is a big difference than "can't".

 

[ladee]

Yay @intothelight !!!! :hug::hug::hug::hug:

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

I realize that I've had way too much to think.

 

[8888]

I realize that I like volunteering.