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I Realize That I

@Kim500 : Just be yourself here. It's a new experience - at least, it was for me. When you don't want to talk, it's fine and when you want to tell something, there are always people who listen/read.

@Snowwhite : It's a big step to realize this. I offer you a hug if you accept it? :hug: ...to need help and say it out loud isn't a shame, it's a sign for strength.

I realize that I still tend to act in an old way. No one ever spoke to me when I was a teen and so I started to feel happy as soon as someone talked to me. Even if they were just taking advantage of me...and it's often still the same.
 
I realise that I had a terrible day, and that it my responsibility to pick myself back up again.

I realise that when my partner says "I think it would be good for you to de-stress and take a day to yourself", that it is a wake up call that I have been over doing some things, and advice I will take notice of.

I realise that it can be hard to articulate why I am crying, or what I'm crying about, but that it is a huge improvement that I can do this and let someone support me through it, rather than keeping it a secret [which is what I did with the abuse for too long, by crying myself to sleep in the dark when alone, and being unable to tell anyone what was happening, despite trying to in various ways].

I realise that I have dealt better with the memories of my friend being murdered and the aftermath, and the glimpses of abuse from childhood, better than in previous years.

I realise that I still continue to get stronger, even though stress/PTSD, depression/memories and an over-flowing stress cup can pull me back down. I will rest, recover, and keep getting on with my life to the best of my abilities.

I realise I would like to send out some :hug:s and healing vibes for those who are in need of them :).

Phew, tough couple of days! I need some :laugh:s and :giggle:s now; I realise laughter is still my favourite [and the best] medicine.
 
@rainy_daze : At least, you're able to cry - even if that might sound stupid. It might hurt but it's better than keeping everything locked inside. ...and please giggle all the way you want. ...and gladly returning the hugs. :hug:

I realize that I still am insecure about my on capabilities...and that people tend to see me much stronger than I feel inside.

I realize that I'm so numb inside again that I listen to very hard music again - so I might have something similar to a heartbeat.
 

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