I Realize That I

[Tinyflame]

I can only speak for myself, but I heard 1 1/2 podcasts on ghosting, and they were over 85% wrong. They spoke with authority, but I didn't relate to nearly anything they said, including why, or what the person is thinking or feeling. Maybe they're right, but not for me.

 

[Lionheart]

I realize that I could help others but at the same time, I do not want to be a martyr.

 

[Rani G2]

I am the foreigner... No matter how hard i try, how much I invest, How much I show affection... I will be standing on the margin. I will never be a part of the herd, I have way more to loose. My otherness is visible in colour, the way I talk... If you want me to be OTHER than THIS so that I can belong? Then I will say Good bye my Friend... There are some things I truly treasure and need to find new things elsewhere.... Amen

 

[Mach123]

I feel like crap because of what I'm eating. It's irrelevant if I think it's healthy or not, and it's completely debilitating if I just eat whatever I want.

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

I realize that I all too often choose the perceived safe zones rather than just grabbing my tools and venturing out. I promise to allow myself more chances to experience as much as I can every chance I get.

 

[Lionheart]

I realize that I have been single too long and would like to have emotional and physical intimacy with a significant other, but I never learned how to make a connection and it is difficult to ask for a date when ya don't drive or own a car.

I realize that I am probably doomed to be alone for the remainder of my life, but I do not know why this seems to be true for me.

 

[Rani G2]

Still wants to feel powerful and beat on my chest like an Ape.. (Look at me, I'm this and that)Then comes fear/shame because truth is I'm not any of that, just a broken/splitted human who needs attention so badly, and feels deep down that she is sh* and others should make her feel differently. Wretched.. and thats hard to be with...anyways.. I'm alive and my extremities are there where they should be, and somewhat sane still.

 

[Ellabella44]

I realize that I've reached a point in my sobriety where I need help. I'm trying an aa meeting near me tonight. Hoping its not too religious. If this doesn't work out maybe ill see if I can find some group online. I need accountability, at least for a while.

 

[Rani G2]

Cannot keep any connections...

 

[Tinyflame]

When stuff slides or tanks, I find myself tanking it myself, for the future. All-or- nothing thinking I suppose.

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

I realize that I spent a lifetime of being taught to watch what I say, but was never taught to watch what I think, or eat, or drink and how deeply those things could/would affect my overall existence for many years to come.

Nor was I taught the basics of body functions beyond the sparseness of what textbooks and teachers are allowed to offer in a generic school setting where I was never fully engaged anyway due to the scenes playing out in my life.

No matter what I choose, I'll still expire, as we all will, but I hope to make the journey to my meat coated skeletons expiration more enjoyable than days gone by, as I have to live with the energetic exchange of each and every choice.

So many crucial things left to chance and circumstance. Grateful to still be around, most days, to pick up the many pieces of this scattered puzzle known as cell-ph.

 

[Rose White]

I realize that ruminating is a bad habit, even though it feels much bigger than a habit.

The OCD diagnosis from the past and the perseveration symptom of PTSD sometimes lead me feel like I am doomed to ruminate, but I’m not.

I realize that on some level, at some point, I choose to ruminate, versus distract myself.