I think i need help... of sorts

[abbynormal1929]

I am in a place now that I habe decided that I need to leave my wife who is emotionally abusive. I know there's never gonna be ha perfect time to do it.

I still can't stop myself from giving in to her manipulations, no matter how small. Its like an addiction (which I've had some experience with before) the most obvious example is when she says I'm going to leave her and run off with one of my friends. I have no plans to run off with anyone, but I can't stop myself from reassuring her that I won't leave even though I'm in the planning stages of it. Can't stop from saying that everything's ok, and she's right about everything, and she's justified in stomping around, yelling about work for hours after she gets home even though it scares me, and I usually end up depersonalizing. Worst of all I can't stop thinking about how leaving is gonna hurt her. I just have to make all the tension n the air go away and try to make her feel better, not that it always works. I know I'm supposed to be thinking of myself and my son, it's just so hard to "quit" so to speak.

Side note: I have a 5 month old son with her too.

Any input would be welcome

 

[somerandomguy]

Do you have an escape plan?

Path to Safety - National Domestic Violence Hotline

 

[abbynormal1929]

In progress, still working out details, for my son. I can stay at my moms,, but she's 1.5 hours away. I don't know how proximity and joint custody work.

 

[Justmehere]

Have you met with a divorce attorney?

 

[NoWhereKnowWhere]

At this point what difference would it make at this stage in the game if you started telling the truth. It’s going to create a massive argument and give her the opportunity to manipulate you into staying. I honestly wouldn’t bother.

it’s going to be a shock to her and it probably will hurt her. But if you stay you’ll be the one hurt and probably your son too. It’s going to be really hard but it’s necessary.

Definitely meet with an attorney and see what your rights are if it’s at all possible.

 

[EveHarrington]

Stay strong.

I’m glad you’re making plans to get out.