I Wanna Die

[Flossy]

Yep taxis would be better. It is a myth that you get seen sooner when you arrive by ambulance.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

@Chava, another person over here who absolutely disagrees with you thinking you're a piece of §h¡t, YOU ARE NOT. :hug: I can relate to how you feel. I hope you can do something positive that will help the false and unhelpful thoughts go away :hug:

 

[Truthful_Whispers]

It helps for me to not have many expectations from other humans, so I don't get hurt and disappointed as much. Like me, you seem to be a person who turns their pain inward on themselves. I used to cut when I felt the way you are currently feeling, but have managed to not do it for a while. These waves of despair are like huge ocean waves. The wave will pass soon, and you will be in the trough again, feeling a little better. Emotional waves will always come and go, it is just a fact of my life I have to live with. Usually, Individuals who feel that they are worthless, turn out to be the people that are worth the most in this world. Hang in there, tomorrow is a new day with new possibilities.

 

[Sammyiam]

@Chava

im so sorry you feel this bad, the hurt is always inside of us, please don't let it win. I don't know what to say to make you feel better, I so wish I had some words that would make you feel better. I know how you feel as I feel so many of the same thoughts, people try and say you are not but in our heads we just cannot seem to understand what they are telling us. We just think we are worthless and nothing, but when I see you writing this about yourself I feel so sad for you. When I write it about myself I cannot see myself in the same light. I am hoping that we together can help each other to get through this. You have so much support , as do we all in this site. Please let us help you, and in helping you, we are learning and helping one another at the same time.

Please take care Chava

Sammy

 

[Anarchy]

Chava, sending you hugs and some daylight to shine onto those demons. The little buggers are certainly persistent!

I know this is top down, but, there's nothing shitty about you. Despite the worst that the demons can do, you are an achiever, you care, you work, you support yourself

You are a valued and caring member here.

Bottom up stuff;
Grounding with all five senses, have you any nice smelling herbal tea to make a mug of, to smell and taste, a warm bath or shower followed by a warm blanket or warmed fluffy towel, soothing sounds, shapes colours pictures to draw or colour...

Stuff in the middle, concentrate on breathing, gently bringing yourself back to breathing when your mind wanders.

Hugs if you'll have them.
@

 

[Chava]

thanks everyone...I feel extremely disconnected today and it's really disappointing to go back to this place but I think it's how I survive when I don't want to

 

[Sammyiam]

Thinking of you

 

[seedling]

I've was encouraged to see your human child avatar when you changed it. To me it showed that you are emerging. That the little child down deep is there and safe and working on coming out.
And the toxic waves release and surge through on the way out. Those old poop-ey feelings.
Sending you good thoughts of encouragement and strength for this.

 

[Chava]

was encouraged to see your human child avatar when you changed it. To me it showed that you are emerging

Thank you...I would not have made that connection. Snail to human child (though snail like and alone). It hurts every time I try to emerge.

 

[seedling]

Hurts like hell I bet! And yet, you do emerge, little by little. Your bravery is beyond anything.

Pushing out of that shell that has kept her safe all this time. A part of you your abusers could never take away or get at. Look how wonderful she is that's what I see.

 

[Chava]

That's beautiful....thanks @seedling..

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

Chava, I know we don't really know each other, the way that no one can really know another person over the flickering of electronic screens and moderated message boards. But, I feel a kinship to you. I always look for your posts here; I appreciate your candor, your intelligence, your sensitivity and your kindness. Please know that people do are, even if you feel alone. I would be devastated if you were gone.