Sexual Assault I Was Sexually Assaulted And I Don't Care

[joeylittle]

i seem to be incapable of longterm romantic relationships due to ongoing sexual problems.

I'll ask, (and you don't have to answer), how old are you, and how long has it been since the sexual assault incident?

i'm wondering if people who have had many, discrete traumas find the symptoms from one masking the other.

Yes, probably. It's hard to know until you get into therapy. But, would you mind describing this a little bit more? You're into the territory when your age at the time of the events matters (whether you were child, adolescent, adult), whether you grew up in a physically abusive environment, what happened first, stuff like that.

If you're willing to share more, the advice might get more targeted. I do know that I went through some things that I firmly believed were not affecting me, specifically because of other things that I thought were 'worse'.

(Also, admin speaking - if you confirm your account using the link you were emailed, your posts will go up right away. Until you do that, they all have to be approved manually - so when you see a delay, that's the cause)

 

[Gs172003]

I guess I'm confused. Why did you bring it up if it's not an issue?

 

[Abstract]

I know that for me part of the process of coming out of full blown denial was me staring to discuss how things had not at all affected me. That carried on for a very long time. It just slowly become less absolute. Near the end and still at times it went along the lines of: this didn't affect me bit if it did ...." .

Not saying this is the case for you you. Just putting my experiences out there. Denial is a powerful thing. Welcome.

 

[Gs172003]

I know that for me part of the process of coming out of full blown denial was me staring to discuss how...

That's what I think too. I told my therapist things that I would remember and it would be like talking about the weather. It was odd. That's why I think this person is numbing. Same as me.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I told my therapist things that I would remember and it would be like talking about the weather.

I told my therpaist things that happened to me that seems like a horror movie and I speak as if I'm talking about the weather. His very words actually.

In my case it is due, per my therapist, to a seperation of me and my past. Children do this to say that it's not really happening to me. In my case, at the time I had disassociated a lot and I had created identities. I did not come out with DID (formally multiple personalites), which suprises me. But i dropped the identities when I left at 19. Though the identities were dropped at that time, my brain still says that it happened to this person, not to me. Thus the gap.

It is VERY common to have a seperation of some sort to some degree as most children will disassociate to some degree thus creating a gap to some degree. Also per my therapist.

 

[Friday]

i'm wondering if people who have had many, discrete traumas find the symptoms from one masking the other.

Very much so.

It's also something of a moving target, sometimes.

ABC. I don't care about A, but B & C f*ck me up... Until D happens. Then I start caring about A, but not about BCD. Will have A mostly sorted, then C&D pile on, but A&B? Pfft. Not so much. Confused, yet? :confused: Yep. Me, too. Sometimes trauma just gets all tangled up. Pull on one string, and 2 things unknot, while 3 more get hopelessly tangled. Other times? It's clear as day why 1 thing is affecting another thing.

There are also events that never have, and probably never will, reach my threshold of giving a f*ck about them.

And there are things that I well and truly sorted a very long time ago, that may have had teeth once... But I'd be very surprised if they ever bit me, again.

***

It's one of the awesome bits about not comparing trauma, but instead focusing on the PTSD, itself. There are things in my life I don't care about that f*ck someone else up, and things in their life they don't care about that f*ck me up. Comparing notes? We can each learn how to be less f*cked up.

 

[Gs172003]

Very much so.

It's also something of a moving target, sometimes.

ABC. I don't care about A, but B &...

You're very smart you know that?

 

[foreveralone2099]

hi everyone, thanks for taking the time to chat.

I'll ask, (and you don't have to answer), how old are you, and how long has it been since the sexual assault incident?
...........
But, would you mind describing this a little bit more? You're into the territory when your age at the time of the events matters (whether you were child, adolescent, adult), whether you grew up in a physically abusive environment, what happened first, stuff like that

i'm in my late 20s now and i wanna say the incident was about 7 years ago. it's hard to pick up on my original line of thought but i think i'm trying to get to the bottom of my sexual & attachment issues.

i was severely abused growing up, physically, emotionally; neglected. i went to a few sessions of therapy and read self-help books and i feel like that part is behind me now, but i'm still finding it difficult to form healthy relationships, especially close ones.

i think my other point was that the emotional abuse i experienced at the hands of men over the years: that i was nothing more than a piece of meat to them; that my feelings & subjective nature could be safely ignored was much more damaging than some teenager grabbing my boobs.

i don't have much anxiety anymore, but i struggle with what i imagine is an unhealthily pessimistic worldview.